Bulldog 2007 Article 141

(9-21-07)

I have 6 events scheduled and you’re invited to join me in each and every one. There are 48 days until the polls close on November 7th and you should be out there looking at the candidates. Let’s start with the event you won’t attend.

That would be my 66th workout in my drive to defeat Eric Jaye at something on this earth. Having noted that he was pudgy and vulnerable to a campaign built on physical fitness, I challenged him to a Speedo competition on the day after the campaign (November 8th). That’s going well on my part but I understand he’s developing amnesia on our agreement and won’t be pool-side due to his expanding girth.

The workouts are slow-motion grueling if that makes sense. I can barely run a block, so I walk huge (to me) distances (up to 12 miles daily – takes 5 hours with light exercise) … walk the long distances daily, then lie in bed in agony with leg cramps. And, yet, I’m beating the Mayor’s top strategist. Remember, Eric … there are things more important than elections and a man’s health is one of them. Take some time out and get on a treadmill somewhere.

Item 2 of 6 today is weekly Salon which has outdrawn the Candidates Collaborative these last couple of weeks. This week’s gathering has to be all about Marc Salomon and his Moratorium on building pied a’ terres for the wealthy. He brought on the Bay Guardian as point armor this week and that ain’t bad.

Item 3 is the Candidates Collaborative’s 6th debate under Gavin’s balcony in Alioto Plaza. Grasshopper has opted out with his sound system and I’m borrowing a much smaller one. Makes no difference. Being there with a sling shot at the right time is how history is made.

Item 4 is a forum on Rod Laughridge’s show on cable #29 for the entire Collaborative. This will only run a half hour or so and give us a chance to catch the end of Ross’ gig.

Item 5 is the Mirkarimi art party which is Korean art this month and I hope to see Doug MacAbee there recovering from his open-heart surgery but refusing to miss anything Korean. Also, as I recall, Joe Lynn was trying to bring an entire Korean film festival here.

Item 6 is our kibitz at Temple Bar from 8pm or so until the pitchers of beer run out.

That’s a pretty good day and while I hope to finish it upright, you are under no such obligation. Join us at any point in the process and make yourself another memory.

Let’s put the Ed Jew controversy to bed. Who was the supervisor in District 4 before Ed Jew? Who was the supervisor before that supervisor?

The answers are, Fiona Ma and Leland Yee. District 4 gets what District 4 deserves. If you vote for sleazy opportunistic hacks to represent you, expect them to act like sleazy opportunistic hacks now and again. If Ed falls, the Mayor will appoint yet another sleazy opportunistic hack who will compete with other sleazy opportunistic hacks and Barry Hermanson for the seat next year and win because District 4 is San Francisco’s Orange County.

The Examiner wrote in a headline that the Mayor was going to give all of the leftover cash from his campaign to poor teenagers so they could go to college? And, it was all a huge lie?

Yeah, actually what the Mayor proposed was that the City give all of the leftover campaign funds from his opponents war chest to the needy students. Yep, an early shot by Jim Sutton to cut cash for potential Progressive candidates in the 2011 race for Mayor.

Yeah, there will be 6 million left from this year’s Public Financing for Office of Mayor candidates due to ‘Dead Elvis’ Gonzalez sitting on the toilet too long and depriving other lefty candidates of any time to wage a serious campaign.

Law is written so that the 6 million rolls over to the next election. Without Newsom in that election, there will be a bevy of candidates from across the spectrum seeking the 12 million that will be available. The move by Sutton and Jaye is to cut that in half now under the pretense of helping poor high school students. Have these mother fuckers no shame?

Candidates who’ll be able to qualify in 2011? Susan Leal. Jeff Adachi. Mike Hennessey. Ross Mirkarimi. John Burton. Matt (“I’ll only be a minute here!�) Gonzalez. Art Bruzzone. Angela Alioto. Leno?

Well, the only mayoral ‘debate’ that includes the Mayor will be held at Koret Auditorium in the Main branch of the SF Public Library on October 11th at 6pm. Room for 300 or so in the audience and it will be first-come, first-seated so make it early as you can. I’d assume Newsom’s folks will try and control the audience just as they’ve written the format for the meeting.

The entire event is scheduled within 90 minutes and no one will be allowed to ask Newsom anything. All questions will be vetted by the League which has a pronounced bias in favor of Newsom. Their questions will be taken from their web site and culled from the audience. It will be possible for a candidate to be shut down to only 3 minutes of comment and that will be sharply restricted. Note that the President of the local chapter is the PR head from the Presidio Trust who thought it wasn’t important for Pelosi to hold a debate. Cards are stacked. Table is tilted. Photo op only.

Be at Salon 1-3pm

Candidates Collaborative under Mayor’s balcony 5-6:15pm

Mirkarimi’s art party 7-8pm

Temple Bar 8pm til beer runs out

h@ludd.net

(9-17-07)

162nd workout today. San Francisco makes it so easy. Over the weekend along my usual Tenderloin to the Marina Green and on to the Golden Gate Bridge have been the most marvelous distractions to the pain of walking and stretching and putting stress on these ancient muscles and bones.

There was a yacht race one day that was obviously sponsored by Rolex because they had their little pennants all around the SF Yacht Club (don’t get me started on them). The last couple of days there was some kind of a kids thing on the Marina Green that had all kinds of huge floating balloons like you see in the Macy’s parade. They had all these inflated huge things you see at amusement parks that you can rent for kids parties where they go in and bounce around.

The people are the best. I work out like the lug I am, struggling in the grass to do more and more leg-ups and sit-ups while I spend most of my time rubbing out the torturous cramps and go on to the next set and then to the apparatus Walt Stack had them put here 25 years ago when I used to jog with him … to do push-ups on the low bar.

The women, ‘people’ is what I meant. Don’t chastise me for being a hound. I know I’m a hound. I’ve been a hound my whole life. I thank God for it. But here, you get the women in this decade with their trainers. I never seen nothing like it.

So, Saturday I decided to do the total tourist thing and it was wonderful. It was an accidental start to the thing. You get to have these normal routes and routines when you’re getting into a workout program and mine has been to jog down Hyde Street from Civic Center to the Bridge (yeah, long way). Saturday I went by Luke’s place off Jones and took Jones on over to the Bay and what a different route.

On a Saturday evening just before Sunset, the place was (as you’d hope) filled with tourists. They hold hands!

“Oh, look, a roach!� said Connie Brown and I fell in love with her instantly when she crushed it with her bare hand. It had crawled out of my lunch bag on my first day of high school and because they seated us in alphabetical order, she sat in front of me for 4 years.

During which she became the Captain of the Cheerleaders and I became … whatever I’ve become. And, hey guys and girls, that was 45 years ago. I’ve never been to a high school reunion but if I’m able, I want to go to my 50th high school reunion and find out what happened to the pretty little blonde with the great ass who wasn’t afraid of a roach.

Can you imagine my horror when the roach crawled out of my lunch bag and headed for her? For God’s sake, I was barely 14 years old and already a nerd and the prettiest girl in the class had just taken a seat in front of me.

All roaches are suicidal. Wouldn’t you be suicidal if you were a roach? I mean, c’mon, why in the hell do they walk right out in front of you and just stand there (often, with your guests watching) … why would they just stand there and stare at you and dare you to kill them? Really, 150 million years and they haven’t learned better? Are the resurgence of roaches and bedbugs related to global warming? Are they rushing into the open and facing certain death because we are their natural host and they want to warn us? At least they aren’t into self-immolation. That could be hell on the insurance rates.