Watching City Hall #396 (11-29-05)
“Vanessa Getty has bigger tits than the Statue of Liberty!”
Rachel Falmouth peruses Society page
Bulldog: “Yeah, … and the other one ain’t bad either.”
Rachel: (we’re going over clips of the latest opera or ballet or whatever opening and there’s this picture of Billy Getty entering the hall with Vanessa on one arm and her ‘friend’ on the other - Rachel is sitting in a far corner of the bed on black satin sheets, naked, drinking a warm chablis from the boxed wine on the small chest of drawers and smoking a joint) … “Like father, like son, huh?”
Bulldog: (shakes head as beginning to type weekly column for Pat & Luke’s Sentinel) “You mean because the old man had a couple of different wives and families that the kid does too?”
Rachel: (continues to peruse the clips) “Here’s Gordon with Ann but I don’t see his other wife. Were his other wife and kids even invited?”
Bulldog: (she’s baiting him & he know it - also knows that she’s the #1 source for inside political info and town and has been embedded in the Newsom camp for months without speaking) “What’s your point? I mean, this piece is for Pat and Luke and the Sentinel. That’s 2 week old news. Why should we cover that?”
Rachel: (runs her fingers through her dark, gray streaked locks and keeps reading as she replies) “It’s the ruling class dude!! Everytime they get together above ground and walk away alive is a victory for them. (shakes her head) It never ceases to amaze me when monsters angle for photo ops.”
Bulldog: (grimaces and scratches nose) “OK, tell me about this week. Tell me what’s happening with Pat Murphy, for God’s sake.”
Rachel: (unwinds enough from her corner of the bed to grab the channel changer - revealing a special moment in which her breasts - moe than impressive - her breasts, swung like pendulums as she changed from channel #26 over to channel #78 over & over - SFGTV coverage) “I think you’ve infected him with your unique combination of PT Barnum/Trailer trash mindset.”
Bulldog: (smiles and nods) “I asked him that yesterday. He was on the front stairs of City Hall committing suicide by tobacco. Told him I was afraid I’d been a bad influence on him but he just laughed.”
Rachel: (looks quizzingly and looks over) “Stalin killed 20 million Russians and Murphy equated Daly with him?”
Bulldog: (chuckles) “Well, all publicity is good and if you give Chris time, he might kill 20 million Russians too.”
Rachel: (smiles, grabs large blue bath towel from rack, twists it around her, takes up small sanding board and begins to work on her feet) “Tell me about Tony and Gavin and Annemarie and Peskin & Comcast and Tiger’s Woods.”
Bulldog: (switches to ‘Blind Date’ where an idiot chick is getting a tattoo on her ass) “I think that Gavin should call his hounds off Tony Hall and offer him the severance package he signed on for. Whatever they have to pay is worth it. You should see that Board of Directors.”
Rachel: (goes over to pour another glass of wine) “I think Jesse Blout’s a real hottie. Isn’t that the group that looks like the Harper Valley PTA?”
Bulldog: (smiles and lights a bowl while typing) “Tell me what you know about them.”
Rachel: (gets seated back on the bed and calls for the lighter) “At least one of Willie’s ex-girlfriends are on it.”
Bulldog: “Chris Daly says that Willie Brown doesn’t have any ‘ex’ girlfriends. He was at the meeting with little Jack (a beautiful 1year old who just loves his daddy soooo much - they are cute together) … Chris is an ex-officio member of the island board.”
Rachel: (sips the wine and continues) “They are the face of the gentrification brain trust, present and past. There’s Marcia Rosen who ran Willie’s Office of Housing and Matt Franklin, who runs Gavin’s. (pauses and considers) The President is a Chinese-American named Cheng and they’ve got Jared Blumenfeld who killed Tidal Power on behalf of PG&E.”
Bulldog: (nodding and drinking) “Yeah. Rosen was looking good. She’s got that surprised, ‘deer-in-the-headlights’ expression that defies botox. I winked at her and she smiled.”
Rachel: (smirks) “She probably had gas. … They’ve got that cute little lawyer with the curly eyelashes who isn’t able to smile.”
Bulldog: “Yeah, that’s Michael Cohen. I ran over him several times, then backed up and ran over him again. I gave Jesse a pretty good reaming too.”
Rachel: (quizzingly) “Why? I thought you liked that gang.”
Bulldog: (shrugs) “They went after a friend. They ganged up on him and smeared him and hurt his feelings, so I ganged up on them and tried to hurt their feelings.”
Rachel: (puts down joint, crosses her legs - I tell you, outside of Salma Hayak) “Do Gallagher & PJ keep their jobs if Tony gets forced out?”
Bulldog: “Yeah, I’m pretty sure. That’s the only reason I’d urge Tony to settle with TIDA. All the wonks figured Gavin would force him out after Elsbernd got re-elected. Hey, I said it to them in Public Comment yesterday, they bought the District 7 supervisoral seat for a quarter million bucks or so. It’s a bargain.”
Rachel: “What will happen to Tony?”
Bulldog: “I’ve heard consultants with winning records say he should enter the Assembly race and take on Barry Hermanson and the winner of the Ma/Reilly slugfest. Let em spend all their money and energy fighting for the Demo spot while Tony coasts in as an Independent.”
Rachel: “Can he win?”
Bulldog: “Yeah. I didn’t mention it to him though. I don’t know where his kids are in school or whatever. The guy is a family man, first and foremost. He might not want to drive a hundred miles to work.”
Rachel: “Well, you know how we all feel about Tony. You might disagree with his politics but you can’t question his integrity or good will. I heard that even Charles Kalish came out to support him yesterday.”
Bulldog: “It was funny. Charles said that the only thing he and Tony ever agreed on was that Tony was older than him (I don’t know, but like all my friends - it seems - , they look like movie stars) … then, he went on and talked about his ability to compromise and negotiate and, his integrity. The crowd liked it.”
Rachel: “Why doesn’t he just move to D-4 and take Ma’s seat back on the Board of supes? That would piss Gavin off.”
Bulldog: “I asked Elsbernd about that and he said he couldn’t see Tony leaving District 7.”
Rachel: (Goes for more wine and relights the joint - tosses her hair) “I saw you talking to him at Ross’s party. What’s with all the shit you’re giving Ross, by the way?”
Bulldog: (shakes head) “Maybe too much, but he’s believing liars and he doesn’t know anything about plumbing and he actually mentioned that Tys Sniffen was there to support tearing down the old Joplin bathroom. That guy’s double-crossed everyone he’s ever worked with. Hmmmm, wonder if he’d like to write for da Dawg?”
Rachel: (leans forward to stop my speech) “Pay attention. Francis Somsel says you’re going to screw up the PGA event at Harding and that the Panhandle bathroom being closed isn’t Tiger Woods’ fault. He says no one will want to play here. What do you say to that?”
Bulldog: (twists mouth and scrunches nose in distaste) “I was too hard on Ross, but I’m right about everything else. Basically, he’s chosen not to fight the biggest bully in the neighborhood and that’s Park & Rec. They killed the Farmers Market in the Panhandle idea. Hell, they opposed the basketball courts there. It’s a class thing.”
Rachel: (cocks head in mock surprise) “Keeping the bathroom closed is about class?”
Bulldog: (nods gravely) “Well, they spend all the money on the golf course and Stern Grove. That’s where the wealthy play. The soccer fields all over the City are a travesty. Bathrooms are closed all over while they build a new clubhouse for the rich at Harding. It’s an old argument. One side (the rich) think that parks are to go to observe. They have backyards and houses in the Napa Valley to play. … The other side uses the hell out of the parks. They party and play and drink and make love there cause they got no room in their apartments.”
Rachel: (stares in thought) “Ross says he’ll have a brand new bathroom there by November.”
Bulldog: (shakes head) “It’s not needed. Worse case scenario on present bath is that you gotta tear up the main drains and replace em and that’s not likely. In any case, it wouldn’t take more than a couple of days. I’ve done hundreds of drains more complicated than this. And, it’s a matter of aesthetics and symmetry too. All the bathrooms are the same. People are writing me from all over the City talking about the condition of the park bathrooms that are open. Politics. Cops. Gardeners. The rich. Selfish neighbors. It’s tough all over. I’m just gonna try and save this one bathroom.”
Rachel: (looks up at clock) “Aren’t you gonna go have a drink with Jesse Blout?”
Bulldog: (also looks at clock, clucks slightly and nods) “I’ll read Ross’s email when I get back. And, I know you like Tiger too, so I won’t push the demonstration plans further for another few days. … (muses) … One bathroom! I told Elsbernd that if they only cleaned and opened it during the tournament I’d be satisfied. They won’t give an inch. It’s like negotiating with Comcast.”
‘Let my people go!’
