Watching City Hall #334, (12-15-04)
“Please keep your comments under 2 minutes.”
(Glide’s Pastor Douglass Fitch)
It was soon apparent that there are no stories about ‘Joefire’ that are under 2 minutes. … Whoever he was.
It was the longest funeral I ever saw and the most fun. Yeah, a ‘fun’ funeral. And, as mourner/guests continually said, if Eric-Allen had planned it, it would have been a lot more fun. Let me share a few of the comments from the celebration.
Angela Alioto
“Can I call you ‘Double-Alpha’?” … He asked her that and it was a great call. Choosing tags was one of his strengths. In fact, his penchant for changing his own, made tracking down his family a real task.
“I called him ‘Joe’.” Angela continued. “My dad was Joe. My son is Joe. I’m surrounded by Joe’s.” She shook her head in puzzlement as the rest of us laughed.
He was only around the scene for a year and a half. Geez, 18 months! To have gained that level of notoriety. That degree of fear. That much respect over such a short period is truly amazing. And, it wasn’t until after he died that we realized that none of us knew who he actually was.
Another reporter said that JoeFire started out as ‘Herbert Bass’. The obituary says his dad is named Herbert, so maybe he was a ‘Jr.’ too. Whatever, like many of the rest of us, Joefire arrived with a new name.
“He didn’t like waiting in lines. And, he didn’t.
It didn’t matter where we were. New York.
Las Vegas. San Francisco. It embarassed me
because he always got me in too.
Me, this middle-aged white guy. I mean,
I don’t know what he said but he looked like
he might be someone famous from Hollywood
or something.
Then, here I am high-fiving Yoko Ono at
4 in the morning and very glad that this guy
was my friend. … (pauses)
I can just see EAB (his closest friends called
him that) arriving at the Pearly Gates and finding
there’s a line.”
(friend of EAB)
“We asked Eric-Allen to housesit for us while
we were on vacation and we came home a day
early.
It was hard to get into the house because there
were so many people at the party. And, in the
hot tub too.
The music caught our attention next. It certainly
wasn’t ours. We are very serious about our
music and our cd player holds 500 discs.
Eric-Allen had removed every single one of our
cd’s and replaced them with his own.
I didn’t know Frank Sinatra made so many records.”
(another friend, as the crowd roared)
“I know that he wouldn’t have invited anyone to
anything at 9:30am (time of funeral) without having
Bloody Mary’s.
Once, when we were working at a firm in New York
City, he asked if I wanted to go to the Super Bowl
in Las Vegas. Of course I said ‘yes’ and he made
all of the arrangements.
It was hell getting there. Everything was late and
by the time we got to the check-in desk at Bally
(you knew he’d pick the biggest hotel) I was so
tired, I’d have been happy to fall into a closet.
I got my key quickly and walked to the elevator
to wait for EAB who was talking animatedly to
the desk clerk.. He finally was satisfied and we
got into the elevator and rode up. And up. And
up. To the top.
‘This is your room.’ he said. I opened the door
and stepped into a penthouse suite completely
surrounded by floor-to-ceiling windows over-
looking the Vegas strip. Eric-Allen’s suite was
the same.
In the morning, there was a knock on the door.
It was EAB with two very tall Bloody Mary’s.”
(Another long time friend.)
“I have a black pants suit that I really like and
JoeFire was free with advise on how to properly
accessorize it. He’d phone after a campaign event
or come up to me.
‘GIRRL!! You know those ear rings don’t go
with that pants suit.’”
(SF District Attorney, Kamala Harris)
“I have an early Sunday morning news show and
Joefire was an early riser. The phone always rang
just as soon as the program ended and it was always
Eric-Allen. It was never about the news.
‘GIRRL!! You know those ear rings don’t go with … ‘”
(Carolyn Tyler, Channel # 7 news)
“Joe was a picky eater so we had to go to get just
the perfect thing at the perfect place.
We were at a deli he’d chosen somewhere on Market
near the Castro. It was sunny and I took off my coat
and rolled up my sleeves and opened my collar to get
some sun. He smiled some and cleared his throat to
speak. He’d called to say that we had to talk. Here it
was.
‘GIRRL!! You can lay out in the sun all you want and
you ain’t ever gonna match my tan.’”
(Double Alpha)
“I got to the party a little late and it was pretty quiet.
That surprised me because I knew EAB was supposed
to be there. When I asked one of my roommates what
happened, he said that Eric-Allen was asleep in the
bedroom. I opened the door and there he was.
I went across and put a Diana Ross album on the
stereo.
EAB leaped from the bed as though he’d been shocked
by a an electric current. He landed in the center of the
living room dancing and the party exploded.”
(another old friend)
“I notice that you aren’t observing the 2 minute rule.
And, that’s all right.”
(Pastor Fitch)
“He phones me one morning and says: ‘You know
that sky diving thing you want to take me on? Well,
today is the day!’
As we approached the air strip, Eric-Allen got
quieter than I’d ever seen him.
In the hanger, I gave him his jump suit and he
starts looking over the instructors and says that
he wants to dive with the biggest most muscular
one strapped to his back (first jumps are generally
piggy-back).
EAB didn’t know I’d hired a photographer to
record the event and when we got on the plane,
Eric-Allen was missing. We thought he’d chickened
out but after a minute or two he came hurrying out
of the hanger. Where he’d completely changed into
a different jump suit. Burnt orange.
‘GIRRL!! You didn’t think I was gonna get photo-
graphed in that other old rag, did you?’”
(Yet another old friend)
“No one knew who JoeFire was. He phoned me
after he’d been publishing for a couple of months
and arranged a meeting. I was expecting some
preppy white guy.”
(Adriel Hampton, Examiner Political Editor)
There were tears too. In fact, most of the people telling the stories above were crying at some point or other in their talks. And, I haven’t scratched the surface of the crowd of celebrity political people this young kid (barely 35 years old) … should mention some more of those present. It’s one hell of a turnout for a guy who just started working da Hall last year.
Mayor Newsom’s staff made it happen
Gavin Newsom took the last seat in the back of the chapel which I thought showed some class (not stealing spotlight). On a busy Tuesday, he stayed til the end of the service. His people made this event possible. Them and Adriel Hampton. Joe Caruso (head of Neighborhood Services) and Alex Tourk (Senior Adviser). Trent Rohrer (Head of Dept. of Human Services). Together they tracked down family and friends, qualified JoeFire for a resting place at a VA cemetery near San Diego. The parlor was magnificent (McAvoy O’Hara). There was a slide show, lots of photos on easels. They lined up a great preacher and printed a collectible memorial program. There was a classic limo hearse. A sexy blonde showing plenty of cleavage and even a bit of belly button … sang ‘Amazing Grace’ and it was true.
Seventh District Supe, Sean Elsbernd was there. He called me over later at da Hall and pointed out that JoeFire would have loved the seating arrangement that had Newsom’s bodyguard seated between Sean and District 6’s Chris Daly (there’s been a feud between these two youngest Board members).
De Press
I mentioned Adriel Hampton. J.K. Dineen was also there from the Examiner. Rachel Gordon and Suzanne Herel were there from the Chronicle. Pat Murphy from the Sentinel was solemn and gracious. The Independent’s Hank Donat (‘Heart of the City) bought us late breakfast at Eats on Clement.
Marc Salomon spoke about watching the last of the District #5 debates with Eric and Sue Betts, pouring down martinis and laughing at the candidates. Later, after breakfast, he ducked into a Richmond District nursery to get a plant to be named Eric or JoeFire or something like that.
Heather Hiles wept when she recounted how EAB had finally confided to her a few weeks back that he had AIDS and was getting weaker. Bill Barnes spoke. City Attorney, Dennis Herrera and office spokesperson Matt Dorsey were there to bid farewell to one of their biggest fans. Joe Alioto-Veronese, the police commissioner was there as was Eric Mar from the school board. Chris Bowman who will probably be the new Chair of the local Republican party sat near the Mayor. Recent D5 candidate and Green party strategist, Susan King sat just behind me and was our fourth party at breakfast.
Malia Cohen and Erika Willett did acknowledgments and the obituary. Young Josh Short played a drum solo. … And, Frank Sinatra sang from a phono.
Let me copy EAB’s obit from his program and close with a few lines from my friend Jens Nielsen.
Eric Allen Bass
“Eric Allen Bass was the true embodiment of that old cliché: ‘the light that burns twice as bright burns half as long’. He led a life of intense passion and commitment to his ideals. His three biggest loves were: football (NY Jets), politics, and his network of friends. A CA native, he grew up in San Leandro, graduated from Pennsylvania State Univ., served briefly in the US Navy, and lived in New York City before returning to spend the remainder of his life in San Francisco as an active member of the SF political scene. Eric Allen was known in that arena as ‘Joe Fire’ for the opinionated political Web site that he created and deoted the last years of his life to: joefire.com. He spent many hours volunteering for Mayor Gavin Newsom and for the Repubican Party.
He is survived by his father, Herbert Bass; one brother, and sisters, Linda and Bessie Bass and Mary Fleming. Predeceased by mother, Eua Bas. He created a second family of friends in the Bay Area and beyond, to whom he was extremely loyal. He never failed to remember the birthday of someone close to him, often with a painful pre-dawn phone rendition of ‘Happy Birthday’ and an email broadcast that ranged from one line to three pages of praise for the celebrator. We remember him for his loving heart-to-heart conversations and quick-witted debates, his boundless energy, and his daiy celebration of all that he loved: the Oscars, music (especially Diana Ross), tearing up the dnce floor, fntasy baseball, the Yankees, Frank Sinatra, the Super Bowl in Las Vegas. EAB lived by his own rules, and this alienated some, but many more will miss the incandesent glow of his heart. Eric Allen Bass died of pneumonia early Thanksgiving Day.”
We should all be so mourned and remembered. Later in the evening, I related the tale of the funeral to my buddy Jens and he nodded and rambled a few thoughts in his own special way as he smoked a joint and drank a beer.
“What are you gonna do at your funeral?”
“What’s good closure?”
“How do they get people to die in alphabetical order?”
Bon voyage, Eric-Allen.
Still hacking:
