Watching City Hall #320, (10-08-04) “Suddenly, a monkey jumped out of the candidate’s ass.” (notes from D5 candidates debate) That would be Francis Somsel who apologized to Robert Haaland for kicking him in the groin, then crunched him over the head. Candidate Somsel drew prolonged hisses from the crowd and the other candidates when he asked why Haaland sued the City for sexual harassment and humiliation. (It was because Haaland WAS harassed and humiliated by the cops.) The crowd at the Canvas Café’ joust was sober and that’s never a good thing. I tried to take up the slack but I’m only one guy. I told a couple of bad jokes and they looked back at me like a hundred corpses propped up in their seats. It was humiliating, but I’m used to that. … I looked around the room for an appreciative smile but only found a couple of mocking sneers. It was like one of my honeymoons. Substance Mirkarimi won the debate. Lisa Feldstein was second. Haaland got points for keeping his head when attacked by Somsel. The entire field (except for me) showed a lack of guts when polled by moderator Savannah Blackwell as to their second and third choices for supe under the Ranked Choice voting system now in place. One candidate after another twisted and dodged the endorsement question with the favored refrain being: “I haven’t decided yet but I’m very impressed by everyone who’s weaker than me.” Actually, credit where due … Bill Barnes outdid me and everyone else by naming Lisa Feldstein as an alternative choice to himself. Clearly the major candidates realize that endorsing one another as second or third choice could be an invitation to disaster. The political establishment realizes it. The pundits realize it. The public realizes it. … It utterly fascinates me. Let’s sort it out in the sun I’ve endorsed Ross Mirkarimi because I think he’s the best candidate. That’s pretty simple. As a matter of fact, the only way I can see him losing is if he gets no second or third place votes. And, … virtually the entire field is presently dedicated to depriving him of second and third place votes. … Which won’t work. It won’t work because you just can’t order voters around in this town. Especially in District #5. Too many people there can read and write. The Milk Club might order them to only list Haaland but only the hard core will listen. Hell, they’d be disenfranchising themselves. It would be like going to the racetrack and picking a trifecta you knew would lose. Makes no sense. Around 35,000 people will vote in District 5 out of an eligible population of 63,000. There are 22 candidates running every possible variety of campaign you can imagine. They run the gamut from a blatantly racist black mortgage broker whose minions wander the streets in the dead of night tearing down the signs of all other candidates and replacing them with his own (in a way, that’s so nostalgic) … from the racist guerrilla tactics of what’s his name to the pure as the fresh snow campaign of Susan King (a real gem) … there’s my daughter’s favorite candidate, Julian Davis, who will be mayor at sometime within the next 20 years or I will kiss your sweet patooie. Young and old. Brave and timid. And, the unfathomable Bill Barnes who’ll be relying on a late TV campaign blitz (unless they have him on a ladder rescuing a baby from a burning building, it will be too little and too late) … None are braver than Rob Anderson. Prison is different than jail There’s a world of difference in getting arrested with a bunch of your friends in an anti-war protest, being cuffed with a little plastic band and being free within hours to tip a brew in the local pub … difference in that and refusing induction into the army to fight an unjust war and being dragged away by the FBI and tossed into prison for a couple of years. … Hey, I have respect for the recreational arrestee. But, that second one … that’s the brave trooper. That’s Rob Anderson. And, at the Canvas Café’ a couple of nights ago, Rob showed that he hasn’t lost his courage. Bill Cosby would’ve been proud Folks, if you send your kids to school primed to disrupt and insult … hateful of women and other races … inured to violence and promoting homophobia … they just might cause trouble. Candidate Anderson caused more than a few jaws to drop when he abandoned the stock liberal guilt response to a question as to why the hell black kids keep blowing each other (and, anyone near) away on the streets of our fair town … came right out and (a’ la Cosby) placed the blame on a basic cultural dysfunction in the black community. You could have heard a gnat fart Rob Anderson was right, of course. I know it because I taught gangster kids and drove them and coached them and used to be one … since way before you were born. So, the lifetime bravery award goes to Rob. Bottom line it for now Like I said, Mirkarimi be the man in 5. Only question now is if any of the closely-packed pelaton will seek to close the gap by getting down. Getting nasty. Getting Democratic party. I keep looking for the defrocked Irish priest who rushes from the crowd and tackles the race leader in the home stretch. … Already there are sabotaged signs in the streets and shop owners frightened for their windows. … And, we aren’t even around the final turn. … I’m not going to kid you. I love this kind of action. I’m the kind of guy who likes to stroll through the crumbled, rain-soaked signs bearing the names of failed dreamers on the morning after any election. Up or down, it’s the intensity of the experience that creates memories. There ain’t nothing like an election to bank such reminisces. … To mull over. … While you sit in your rocking chair. Looking out toward the woods. And mull over what was and what might have been. After awhile … you won’t recall the difference. Mirk in 5: