Watching City Hall #318, (9-23-04)Trust no child … with Heather Hiles.
Let’s see what you got, people. Of all the candidates and issues before the voters in November, the character of Heather Hiles is the most important. Heather is Donald Fisher’s choice to lead the San Francisco School Board.
Essentially, Hiles’ job is to rig the SFUSD’s billion dollar line of credit like a slot machine that only pays out to people like Eli Broad and Dick Riordan and Donald Fisher. … I don’t want to shock you here folks, but Heather Hiles doesn’t give a shit about kids. She’s about making the money flow into the right pockets with the least resistance from the public.
Hiles was brought into the Newsom-for-mayor campaign which badly needed black faces and handed tens of thousands for a couple of months ‘work’ during which she screamed and threatened campaign workers. … She was just warming up for her stint as President of the School Board which is the position Fisher and Warren Hellman have chosen for her.
Those close to Heather call her ‘Sieg Hiles’ due to her tantrums and overbearing attitude. Although she’s never been elected to anything, she began her stint as a Newsom appointee by browbeating elected members of the Board. She literally claps her hands to try and get others to respond to her. … When this bullying technique didn’t go over well with the other Board members, she got together with SFSOS to push through changes in the format and rules of meetings.
Oddly, the ‘Hiles’ changes were just the kind of thing you’d want if you were Eli Broad or Dick Reardon (they did the same thing in L.A.). Hiles wanted to cut time for the comments of the elected Board members and virtually eliminate public comment by pushing it to an uncertain time at the end of meetings. (For all you D5 onlookers, Bill Barnes thinks these are swell ideas and has backed the ‘reforms’.)
Restricting both the public and their elected representatives? Sounds like ‘Sieg Hiles’ is a pretty good handle for this lady. But, that’s only for starters. Superintendent Arlene Ackerman (also an SFSOS pawn) has ordered that teachers and administrators should not speak to the press without her approval.
Folks, you got a bunch of insatiable financiers playing a handful of cards rigged to tilt the table in their direction and make all of the money stacked thereupon to slide right on down into their pockets. With the Superintendent and a majority of the Board in their pockets restricting speech and oversight, they plan to appoint their own Chief Financial Officer who will (surprise, surprise, surprise) … will be able to approve sole-source contracts without even going before the de-clawed Board. When the same group did the same thing in L.A., the new CFO saw to it that Broad made millions.
This is the epicenter of this election. Lovers of free speech, children and the American way (is that too strident?) … of the American Way … should not only vote against Hiles, but should vote against any candidate who has endorsed her. You can bet your sweet bippy, as Dick Martin used to say, that anyone endorsing her has deposited a check from SFSOS or one of their principals in their bank account.
Leave no child with Heather Hiles!
Concentrate on Hiles, cause she’s the anointed bag lady for the corporations. But, be aware of the other Downtown candidates. Those would be David Weiner and Jill Wynns. Let’s do a little Joe O’Donoghue on them (you seen Joe’s latest poem about Calvin Welch?) …
Weiner, Wynns & Hiles.
They make a smelly pile.
In the few days since I started this piece, I’ve seen Hiles all over the media. Free publicity from the Machine. On Comcast, of course. Then, the Chronicle runs a big picture of her with kids. The Ethics Commission announces Hiles has busted the cap on spending for a seat on the Board of Education. Downtown has given her over a hundred thousand to go with all of the free publicity. She has more than 5 times as much cash as any other candidate. Warren Hellman and his cohorts are determined to ram this woman down your throats. Don’t let it happen without doing something. Phone a friend who votes. Send an e-mail. … ‘Trust no child with Heather Hiles’.
You wish you had my life
Well, sometimes you do. Over the past week I’ve gotten to spend a few hours talking to my favorite politician (Gonzo), proposed a green card marriage to a lady getting tossed out of the country after 15 years. The Department of Homeland Security doesn’t trust her. (she said ‘no’ and after thinking about it, maybe being married to me wouldn’t look that good on an application) … I covered a couple of D5 candidate events, did an interview with Brian O’Flynn (Aaron Peskin’s nemesis), I ate a bunch of mushrooms and saw God and Death up close (hadn’t done it for years and am not going to recommend it – specifics are worth at least a column and I ain’t gonna do it here). … Let’s pick up on a few items.
“That’s a rug, man”
Bob Coleman said that. … It was 1am and we’d been talking for several hours with Matt Gonzalez who finally stretched out and fell asleep on the couch. I had the window open to drink in the sweeping view of the valley through the Kalish’s windows and it was a bit chilly. I’d gotten up for a moment to pick up a cover for our crashed leader, tossed it over him and sat down. Bob studied the fabric for a bit, had a sip of beer and noted that I’d covered Matt with a rug.
It’s a very nice rug
Hell, I’d been using it for a blanket for the past year or better. One of those rough fabric things from Mexico or somewhere like that. … But, that’s of no consequence. It’s just the kind of anecdotal thing that people like to hear to break the monotony of constant hype that goes on around politicians.
What say ye now, Gonzo?
I had a lot of fun in the last mayor’s race. You did too. Admit it. Gonzalez came in like a hurricane of nonconformity and tens of thousands boarded up their houses, left their fishing boats tied up along the piers and followed the moppet haired guru up the mountain.
How’s that for hype? … It’s true, though. And, though we’ll never duplicate that particular experience, we know it’s possible now and thousands of us are waiting to try again.
I won’t tell you the potential races we discussed. “I’ll take it under advisement.” is all Matt offered at the end of my sales pitch. A few nights later we crossed paths at a ‘Sun of Mercury’ gig at the Hemlock on Polk and I pushed the ideas again. He listened. For a long time.
I know by now that Gonzalez doesn’t make snap judgments. I also know that he makes his own decisions based upon his own values. This is not a guy who wonders what a certain union or business group or political organization wants. I don’t know how many people he’s listening to. I don’t care. I just know that the final decision on which fortress we storm next will be his alone and about 50 of us will tell our grandkids til we die: “That was MY idea!”
Who’ll be the new District 5 Supe?
Ross Mirkarimi in a walk. San Francisco’s supervisorial district #5 is the epicenter of radical political thought on the face of the planet. We aren’t going to vote someone into office because they promise to kiss the mayor’s ass to get a pot hole filled.
Naw, selling your soul for a stack of endorsements from people who will not hesitate to call in their markers is not what we want to see in our supervisor. Nope. We want to send a Don Quixote out there to make us proud. They don’t have to win all the big battles. They just have to fight.
We want vision. Hell, Mirkarimi wasn’t just in the Green party before Gonzalez; Ross helped found the party. Ross was the point man for public power and will continue to be a leader on the issue. That issue alone is worth at least a hundred million a year to the people of San Francisco. … This is a guy who flew to Russia and Iran to lend help in the lands of his parents when political instability threatened chaos. And on. And on.
Because we can afford the very best … Mirkarimi in 5
I don’t want to pick up the morning paper and see a picture of my supervisor cutting a ribbon with the mayor on a 500 unit market rate housing project that displaced hundreds of my neighbors. Naw, what I want is to see a nasty column by Ken (Hellman’s lawn jockey) Garcia complaining that my supe is taking a raise in the minimum wage to the voters. … Others …
Others
13 candidates took part in the HVNA (Hayes Valley Neighborhood Association) candidates forum. My second pick in the coming IRV vote is still Susan King who had her best night in my opinion. She and Brett Wheeler had the largest raise in stock value that evening. They’re both sincere, devoted & independent. Rob Anderson is easily the most entertaining speaker of the field. Joseph Blue, whose people have been apprehended tearing down the signs of other candidates left his smile at home. He vehemently denied being a real estate broker or having anything to do with Fannie Mae or Freddie Mae or any federal program brokering loans. He described what he does as being some kind of mortgage ‘consultant’ or something like that. Joe (whom I like – maybe he can get me a loan for a house?) … Joe and Tys Sniffen are #20 & #21 in my rankings of the 22 candidates. (I’m last)
Watching me, watching you
As usual, the most powerful people in the room were not on the stage. There were a half dozen powerful political consultants, led by Barbara Mescunas who has horses in 3 district races (Jim Siegel in 5, Brian O’Flynn in 3 and Greg Corrales in 7). Amit Gosh from the Planning Department was there for no apparent reason. I peeked over his shoulder as he took notes and there was nothing there. Amit’s the token Phd that Willie and Gerald Green have trotted out for a decade to support every crummy project for which developers have bribed their way into permits. I’m guessing he was there on orders from developer AF Evans routed through Gerald Green. His charge? “One of these bastards is going to be supervisor and half of the new Mercy Housing project is in this district. See what they say!” … Course, I’m just guessing, but I’m probably right. The church where the forum was held (Baptist) is behind the LGBT Center, sits right on the new Octavia Boulevard project (someone told me Newsom had a piece of several developments there) and is a block from the U.C. proposed 500 unit monstrosity. Lotta money at stake there.
Pat Murphy covered the event for the Sentinel. The Examiner sent political editor, Adriel Hampton. Bruce Bruggman couldn’t afford to pay overtime for a reporter in the district where his paper is most read. The Chronicle doesn’t cover local politics. They simply print handouts from SFSOS and Eric Jaye. No one from SF Progressives or Joefire. Again, the scrutiny of major candidates by 100 local activists who cared enough to miss the Giants’ game wasn’t deemed worth covering.
Sadly, there were no naked ladies or cute animals.
Brian’s song
Everyone told me that O’Flynn was sincere. And devoted. And motivated. … They were right on every count. I followed him when he left the event early and spoke with him outside.
“Don’t spend all your money on lawyers.” That’s what I told O’Flynn. I wrote the same message to Earl Sanders last year and he didn’t listen. There are always lawyers who will encourage you about what a great case you have and drag the thing out and take your money to the last penny. One of em is suing Earl Sanders for almost 200k. And, I warned the guy. I really did. I wrote that the lawyers would go after his retirement money and that’s just what’s happening. I’d hate to see the same thing happen to Brian O’Flynn.
I have an idea
“What if Peskin sponsored legislation … call it the ‘O’Flynn Option’ after the Triangle Park case (look up the details your own damned self) … … when they condemn your property through eminent domain, they have to offer you a list of properties worth up to double the appraised value of your parcel. You just go shopping down the list of surplus property and choose a new location?”
O’Flynn gave me one of those: “That almost makes sense.” looks that I get when I’m really on my game. … Hmmmm, would that work? I mean, the City doesn’t condemn lots of property. Almost never does, in fact.
“I was putting a microphone in the urinal for the Examiner.”
(Tom Ammiano explains being tardy for another vote)
Hey, I’m a man who enjoys a little gutter humor. But, … I’ll tell you the truth. Ammiano was never funny. His stint as a comic? We all laughed politely because of all the other wonderful things he did for human rights and the City.
Naw, the 9th District’s ‘Supervisor-for-life’ (“Term limits? I don’t need no stinking term limits!”) … Ammiano ceased being funny and started being embarrassing last year during the race for mayor. Moderators regularly had to interrupt debates to remind Ammiano that there were children in the audience.
Tom was reacting to a story in the Examiner that focused on the attendance records of the supes. Not just silly little resolutions to honor someone for finally dying or anything like that. Nope. Ammiano missed more serious votes than anyone on the Board. Frankly, I think he’s just being ‘Queenly’ in refusing to return to meetings to cast a vote. I mean, the guy can’t have been taking a piss for 2 solid years!
Renee’ Saucedo for District 9
It’s time the Mission was represented by a Latina.
Closing remarks
Many of you have written to point out errors in my spelling or discrepancies in my facts. … Don’t bother me with such trivial matters. I’m a political satirist for God’s sake. I spin and twist and lie just for fun half of the time. It is not my fault if you are so anal that you can’t take a joke. So, … suck it up. Walk it off. Exhale 3 times to the North. Take a lude.
God, I love elections:
