Watching City Hall #301, (7-10-04)

“Watch what you say! He’ll print it in his column.”
(‘party pooper’s stage whisper)

Hey, I wasn’t trying to get a quote. I was trying to get a piece of ass. Why do my readers always think the worst of me? It was Ross Mirkarimi’s campaign kickoff party and I was bullshitting some little honey when the asshole stopped to feed that information to her. Now, I can’t think of where he’d have gotten that kind of idea. … Unless …

OK, if you read me, you’re gonna think the worst when I ask a deep question like: “How you doin’ tonight?” or something like that. … But, I don’t think it’s fair. … I mean, shit man … I wear my fucking press pass to bed most nights. That nasty little orange card hanging from the toilet pull-chain around my neck should be warning enough to anyone I question … anywhere … that they could end up in my column.

Which only means that a couple of dozen politicians and political hacks will know what you were doing and saying at a frozen point in time over tequila or … pot? … or, taking a piss. … But, not sex! … Oh no ladies, if any of you ever give up a little leg in this direction, so to speak, … you have it upon my honor as a gentleman that I’ll never mention it in print.

“The writer who edits themselves, has a fool for an editor.”

(Eileen Left paraphrases an old lawyer joke)

This is a column about what you can write and what you can’t. How honest can you be? … Now, the parameters on such an issue are defined by such things as:

Do you have a family who will disown you in humiliation?
Do you have a fortune, home, car or job you wish to keep?
Are you afraid of getting whacked?
Can you stand to lose access to your audience?

That last one there … losing your audience. That’s the one that bothers writers the most. It’s a constant source of agonizing decision for writers everywhere, especially in a town like San Francisco where 90% of the media outlets are controlled by dictatorial baboons with a taste only for their own viewpoint (Bruce Brugmann) or that or their employers (Phil Bronstein).

Step out of line and you’re on the pavement. … So, the writers sell out. They write material that deletes information the public needs to have to make an informed decision. They ignore their own taste in art and literature and suppress their disdain for thieves and savages. They get by. … And, they pay the rent or the mortgage.

“You think ‘Potterville’ was bad?
Wait till you see ‘Hellmanville’.”

(Eileen)

Now, stay with me here, cause there is a connection to journalism when we talk about Hellman. You see, no kingdom is complete without a royal press which spends a large part of their time singing the praises of the King and his court. Or, in the case of San Francisco … of, the founding members of SFSOS and the ‘Swells’. … Now, you might think that with the Chronicle and Bronstein already filling that slot for the Hellman cabal that they’d be satisfied? … Guess again. As old Roscoe used to say: “Too much … is not enough.”

Yeah, had it not been for the fact that fundamentalist Christian evangelical, Philip Anschutz was more devoted to spreading his particular gospel than greedy Jew, Warren Hellman … that, and the fact that the Fangs have no religion but dollars … Hellman would have owned the Examiner by this time.

What’s the difference?

The fundamentalist Christian wants to watch the world blow up in his rear view mirror as he is swept away in the ‘rapture’. The avaricious Jew simply wants to own the world. … Now, I know I’m being easy on them but I want to remain perfectly p.c. because I’m a San Franciscan. Yeah, sure don’t wanna be known as a bigot or an anti-semite. Hell, other than Osama, most of my friends are Christians or Jews who are neither fundamentalist nor avaricious and I don’t want to offend either group. … The last thing I need is a lot of hate mail from a bunch of Yids or Mackrel Snappers.

Yeah, Hellman was on the short-list of potential purchasers of the Examiner. On the list also were such luminaries as Joe O’Donoghue and Dick Hongisto. Some said Matt Gonzalez was trying to put together a group. … I personally made a bid to take it over if they paid me 10 million bucks a year. I mean, shit … they paid the Fangs 20 million a year to put their name under the masthead of that long dishonored eagle.

But, oh no. … Not a chance. So, we get a Jesus-freak, slightly more sophisticated than the insane clans at Jonestown & Whacko but with the same twisted goal of bringing on Armageddon and thus, the end of your sorry ass and the elevation to Paradise of their own. … George W. Bush for President kind of people.

What was my point?

Oh yeah. It was because I was reading the interpretations in the Chronicle and Examiner of Hellman’s announcement that he was going to take over control of the San Francisco Unified District’s billion dollar budget (uh huh … 685 base – 295 in bonds – up to 70 in City General Fund dollars) … Warren will take it over for 150k a year (which he will write off his own taxes, so he’ll take control of another billion and 53k kids for free) … for the 150k he spends to hire a Chief Financial Officer. …

I was reading this shit and wondering just where Hellman would stop. Along with Diannne Feinstein, Dick Blum, Gordon Getty, Dan Fisher, Walter Shorenstein (this group needs an Irishman bad – perhaps a pedophile priest?) … was reading that Hellman was happy about winning his case to desecrate Golden Gate Park by planting a garage at public expense … had won that case and already controlled through a network of similar cabals: the zoo, the stables, the golf course, the marina, the library, the art museums, the airport (did you know that Diannnne’s husband, Dick Blum gets a dollar everytime you use a baggage cart at the airport?) Yeah, be it by land, sea, air or media … your money is going to Warren. … And, he wants more. Specifically, he and his people want control of the SFUSD and the made their major move to grab control several years ago when they created a new position of Chief Counsel for SFUSD and told Arlene Ackerman that Louise Renne WOULD be the choice. Then, they started appointing SFSOS style mouthpieces like Emilio Cruz and Heather Hiles to the School Board.

Hellman et.al. run Heather Hiles

We all know where Cruz came from. Like the mob, machines have always believed it is better to hire family. Sometimes though, when you need ‘diversity’ in a position for political reasons, you have to outside your inner circle. In that case, since they aren’t beholden to you by blood, you tie them to you by money. … Heather Hiles is in the pocket of Dyan Feinstein and Warren Hellman’s SFSOS group. They hired her through the shell of one of their philanthropic pawn shops (read: we give you a dollar and own your soul forever) … makes her living handing out the tax-deductible portions of Shorenstein & Fisher’s money. They brought her into Gavin Newsom’s mayoral campaign as a token. As such, she had the advantage of being queer, black and female all at once. … She’s bought. Just like Newsom. Hiles is as much of an educator as Tammy Haygood, was an elections chief. Strictly window dressing. … If you want to get under the skin of this gang, vote against Hiles & Jill Wynns & Scott Wiener in the race for school board. … Yeah, the Wiener kid is another phony. Shorenstein sent him to Harvard kind of like he sent Gavin Newsom to Santa Clara on a scholarship. Weener is a mid-20’s hyper case installed as a principal by Ackerman at the behest of the SFSOS group that raised him in their greenhouse. Phony, high-sounding credentials, thinly veneered over obedient automatons.

So, you are SOL on the new SFO from SFOS for SFUSD

But, Hellman says that although he wants to choose the person to handle Unified’s billion bucks (you ‘googlers’ – look up Ackerman in D.C. – she bitterly opposed an incoming ‘SFO’ forced upon her by the D.C. board) … Warren says he “gives to good causes all the time without expecting any sort of payback” and that, “running the school district is the last thing in the world I want to do”. …

I’d say that, given his record, unless Warren is dying, then he’s lying. I mean, if it’s the “last thing in the world” he wants to do, this must be his last act. … People who know Hellman know better. Look in the dictionary under ‘control freak’ and there he is.

SFUSD under fire

The principle lawyer for this group is Louise Renne. Oh, she doesn’t go to court under their name. Worse yet, she pretends to represent first, the people of San Francisco and now, (more tragically) their children. Renne represents PG&E & SFOS interests. And, the people pay her salary for working directly against their own interests! (I always figured the PG&E folks raised many a glass of champagne in laughter to toast such an irony.)

Now, Renne is attacking the parents of some of our youngest American citizens. … Yep, over half of the kids in SFUSD speak English as a second language but virtually all of them are personally, American citizens by birth. … So, when Louise Renne says that a Matt Gonzalez Charter Ammendment to allow the non-citizen parents of our smallest Americans to vote on their behalf, for members of the School Board … when Renne says that wouldn’t be right, she’s in her PG&E mode big time. … Protect the interests of wealth and property first.

So, the school board will continue to be chosen for the most part, by non-parents and to a growing degree, by childless property owners. … Hmmmm, maybe Gonzo can work his magic with this issue again. He and Tony Hall crafted virtually all of the major reform legislation in this City over the last 4 years.

I see dead elephants

If you want to see how Hellman’s new CFO of the SFUSD treats your elected representatives, watch other such officials when they are compelled for one reason or another to appear before the Board of Supervisors.

Take the ‘elephant man’

That’s the present SF Zoo Director. (Mollanedo) He works for the collection of Swells who took over our zoo a decade or so back and used your bond money to build a great place to party for them and a lousy place to live for the animals. … The Swells trade the zoos animals kind of like old southern plantation owners used to trade slaves. You know, no interest in the welfare of the beast, only for the pleasure and profit of the masters.

Director was clown who bowed to AZA order (Association of Zoos and Aquariums – more interested in having an animal ‘complete’ their collection even if the poor thing dies of discomfort and stress from living in improper conditions – more interested in collections than humaneness) … he sent one of the elephants who died a few months back to terrible conditions at the SF Zoo … he sent the animal here from L.A. (where he was then the bureaucrat in charge of such crap) … did it, after agreeing to let a rights group buy it and put it on a proper preservation, then … he gets a job here as the honcho … comes to town and, in yet another ironic twist, watches the animal he sent here, die here, because he sent it here to further his career. … That’s some cold shit, hombre.

So, anyway

So, anyway, the Swells press announces that Mallenado … they announce that he’s going to do the humane thing and send the zoo’s remaining 2 elephants to a proper habitat only 130 miles away. … We’re still waiting. … Only reason they’re saying they’ll do this is because when, in his appearance before Matt Gonzalez and a Board committee, elephant man offered absolutely nothing (his salary isn’t paid by them) … offered nothing, Gonzo said he’d do what he could to hold back General Funds marked for the Zoo.

Mark my words

The Zoo, to date has made no move to transport these elephants. They are using every tool to delay. … I think this is because the Swells hate Matt Gonzalez. Crazy, huh? Oddly enough, probably true though. Mark my words, when Gonzo leaves office in January, the elephants will still be in San Francisco and if and when they do go to the sanctuary, Gavin Newsom will be there, mounted on a huge white stallion and wearing a safari outfit from the Gap. He will wave his hat, rear the horse and smile into the cameras.

Disenfranchised school kids. Dead elephants. Off-site housing. Black and brown Diaspora. … What a town.

Eileen wants to close with an observation she’s made. Go ahead, girl.

Eileen: “I think you’re so paranoid because paranoia can be fun. … It’s great for weight loss and a world of villains and heroes is much more interesting than a world of drab uncertainty.”

I need a drink.

Offended? I am.

Tell me where I went wrong.