Watching City Hall #291, (5-25-04) “You can leave your hat on.” (Joe Cocker) It’s important to know the dress code if you’re trying to get laid. … In a similar vein, it’s important to have rules if you’re going to go to war or play basketball or … run for supervisor in San Francisco’s District #5. ‘letters, we get letters’ Hey, you know me … I’m not one to cause trouble. … But, what’s the sense of covering politics if you can’t slander, pander & mock (sounds like a law firm)? What good’s a press pass if you can’t spy, lie and decry? And, when has treating everybody fairly ever helped you? Be honest with me here. I mean, I want you to deny that evil pays better than good 7 days a week, 24 hours a day and 365 days a year. … Look around you. … Your boss is a thief and cheat. Your neighbors are all perverts. Your President is the first person on record as being accused of being both a deserter and a war criminal. Your taste in literature is so shitty that you regularly read my column. … Are you with me so far? What we need is more rules Running for supervisor in district 5 is a bit like running in the Bay-to-Breakers. You know, like in the fact that the participants outnumber the audience for most of the race. (I’m way too pc to develop that analogy any further.) … There were 30 candidates last I looked. I’ve been ‘embedded’ with the group pretty much since Matt Gonzalez started packing his cardboard suitcase and Glad bags. … Those of you who have read my accounts know that I’ve covered the campaign in a very Hearst-like fashion. War sells papers You can get by with all but one thing in the online news game. The unforgivable sin is being boring. … So, sometimes when your subjects start to get a bit dull, the good reporter will step right up there and provide a spark. Nothing big. … Passing on a rumor or a negative e-mail. Writing half-truths. Scheming. Back-stabbing. (it’s lots like political consulting) … I mean, everyone knows that like football, basketball and war, politics is much more entertaining to the audience if the opponents actually hate one another. It is the job of the media to create such an atmosphere and God knows that I’ve contributed everything I have toward this goal. Get that ‘friendly fire’ booming! … Then, they come up with rules. … A pledge, actually. The 5th District Supervisors Anti-Negative Campaigning Pledge If Angelo Sangiacomo is the ‘father of rent control’, I think it’s only fair to say that I’m the father of the District 5 pledge. As ERIC ALLEN !!! (He’s ‘Joefire’ and prefers his name in all caps) … anyway, as JOEFIRE points out, only idiots pay attention to what I say. Neverthless, District 5 candidates are being asked to sign a pledge promising to be nice to one another. … Oh right! … I mean, that’s all well and good for them. They’re mostly nice people anyway. … Hell, I’m gonna take JOEFIRE’S advice and just drop the topic. I have to finish packing a backpack to get me through a week of cat-sitting on Russian Hill. You’ll be hearing of KittyUltraSound’s babies (Jif & Piglet) in the coming days. It’s always so nice to spend days in an empty space with paper & a book & a tv. … I’ll get back to the silliness tomorrow. Forget Paris: