Watching City Hall #227, NOVEMBER 2, 2003 Bulldog Endorsements (and, other shit) First, let me congratulate Robert Haaland, President of the Harvey Milk Club and an array of other progressives for planning an amicable gathering of forces after the blood is all cleaned up next Tuesday night. … Eileen Left had a few other ideas: Eileen: “They should combine their election night parties as a show of unity. Imagine Haaland and Threet together with Mascunas and Enrique Pierce. … Virtually the entire Board of Supervisors would be at the event. … Imagine such a party. … Jeff Adachi … Terence Hallinan … would Angela attend?” h.: (caught off guard) “How would I know?” Eileen: “Well, ‘duh!’, you’re the one who was hanging out with her. Don”t you remember? You said she always says: ‘Democrat to the end!’ Didn’t it occur to you that she might not go with the progressives if the left’s nominee is a Green?” h.: “Yeah, I guess … a little, anyway. … It’s just that I’m not at my sharpest when I write about Angela. … That sculpted face. … The wild, goddess hair … her obvious high energy and physical strength.” Eileen: “Shut up!!” h.: “Huh?” Eileen: “I swear, you’re hopeless. End game in the battle of your political career and all you can think of is sex.” h.: “Is that a … is that a … bad thing?” Eileen: “You haven’t done shit for Gonzalez in the past month and he’s been your biggest mentor for 2 years!” h.: “Yeah, I know. I can’t really explain that. I’ve had lots of chaos in my personal life, but so have most of his volunteers. … Face it though, he hasn’t really needed me. I mean, if he were polling in single digits, I’d be out there firing away but, … because I was completely right in all of my calculations about a Gonzalez candidacy, he doesn’t need me. … So, I’ve been trying to find a new place for me and my cats to live while I watch the race and smile. … That, & get high with Jens Nielsen every night on the best pot that God ever put on the earth.” Eileen: “You’re fuckin’ nuts! So, you think that ‘God’ means for Matt to win, so it doesn’t matter what we do?” h.: “Hey, I’m right about my ‘hunches’ more than anyone in town. Newsom’s entire campaign is a rip-off of pieces of my columns over the past 3 years. Uh huh, Matt’s going to win. Not only that, but he’s gonna take Chuck Hagel and Joe Taggard and ES&S down.” Eileen: “Some of the best minds in the country have tried to catch ES&S fixing elections. What makes you think you can get them here?” h.: “They’ve gotten too arrogant. Plus, we’re smarter here. We will know every single vote they divert and how they did it and our exit polls and eventually hard counts will nail their asses. … Screw the local election … this will defeat Bush in next year’s Presidential election! … For God’s sake, woman, when you fix an election, you negate the deaths of the millions who died defending democracy. … Yep, history will write that the Republican party was destroyed in the Tsumani that originated in the investigation of the 2003 San Francisco election for Mayor. You want more?” Eileen: “It’s amazing you still walk around free! … I’ll give you credit though. I know several dozen people who are working for you on election day and they’d all look good on a witness stand.” h.: “That’s the idea, dear. My e-mail just said: ‘Wanna save democracy?’ and they did.” Eileen: “Give me your endorsements for the election. … When will Ania be back? I’m gonna take a shower (she runs 10-12 miles daily & generally stops at my place at the end of a run) … just talk into the recorder and I’ll transcribe the shit later.” h.: “What do you do with my predictions?” Eileen: “I sell them to Gavin Newsom’s consultants. Remember that concert you proposed to Alioto … you know: ‘Three Classic Women’? Remember? You wanted Angela to fund a free concert at the Fillmore with Grace Slick and Linda LaFlamme … hell, Deby and Frank even did poster boards for your presentation. … Welllll, Angela said ‘no’ but Newsom’s people turned your idea into a free Willie Nelson concert in the park and the ‘Three Women’ mailer he just sent out this week.” h.: “How much you get for that?” Eileen: (leaning out of the shower to show way too much for my aging heart) “I didn’t get anything because I don’t exist.” h.: “Hmmmm, so, I’ve been giving my ideas away and only the forces of evil think they’re any good. … Did I mention, I’m mostly Irish? … I’m losing you here.” Eileen: “I don’t exisssst! … Hey, it’s Halloween, be a seer and give me your endorsements and who you think will really win. You’ve talked big about how often you’re right. … Start with Mayor & D.A., then do all of the initiatives.” h.: “You’ve got a great ass for a fantasy … but, …OK, as you ask: Mayor’s race There are 9 candidates and 8 of them are running for reasons of ego or greed or both. Only Matt Gonzalez has pure motives. He’s also the smartest. He’s the only one looking forward in the areas of land use and power and water supply. Plus, he’s my pal and what further qualification could anyone need? D.A.’s Race Hallinan. Diversion works better than incarceration if and when you get a choice atween da two. Hallinan has had a marvelous 8 years when you consider the cops and the mayor who should be his natural allies, have done everything they can to subvert him. Violent crime is down more than in any other California county. Give Terence a mayor truly interested in police reform and we’ll have an entirely new culture at 850 Bryant within 100 days. Sheriff Michael Hennessey may be the best Sheriff since Wyatt Earp. I’d rather he moved over to take control of the Police Department too, but that’s another topic for another day. Prop A - School Bonds No. Until we have a school board that will discharge Superintendent Arlene Ackerman, I will not give them another dime. Prop B - Yes (no brainer) Prop C - Making Controller into God No. Anything SFSOS and Willie Brown try to slide by as about ‘clean streets’ sounds suspicious. What it does is make the Controller (a non-elected official appointed by the mayor - present one has 7 full years left of term Willie gave him) … It is an attempt to extend the influence of the Brown machine on past the date of his exit from power. The legislation makes the controller an ‘ex-officio’ member of the board … whatever the hell that means … Vote No. (This one will win anyway - everyone but me and Jesus Christ endorsed it.) Prop D - Small Business Commission Yeah. Your phone money goes to Texas. So does your gas bill for your car and your cooking flame. An outfit in North Carolina owns your power plants. I don’t know where the hell your Starbucks expenditures go, but your Wal-Mart cash goes to Arkansas. Vote Yes on this one and we’ll see how we can use it to protect local business as we go. Prop E - Ethics Reform Is there an echo in here? How many times have you voted in favor of ethics reform? Vote Yes, although I’d prefer it if the wording included things like a rope and a tree, but … “take what the defense gives you” as Johnny Unitas used to say. Prop F - Targeted Early Retirement - Yes Prop G - Rainy Day Fund Vote Yes. Kind of like voting for a sprinkler system after the gym burns down but … there will be other fires. … Good work Tom Ammiano. Prop H - Police Reform Let’s see … uhhhh, hmmmm, do the police need reformed? … We have the worst run, most political police department in the Northern hemisphere. Thugs, liars and crooked politicians run the entire operation. … Yeah, I’m gonna vote yes on this one. Prop I - Child Care … Yes Prop J - Homeless facilities Like this session’s Prop ‘M’, this is an ill-defined (86 words - count em) … an ill-defined vehicle for aiding a specific candidate. The Controller said on Bruce Pettit’s portion of Comcast Newshour … Ed Harrington said that implementation costs could be minimal since the initiative’s sponsor said that a few curtains at strategic points in present homeless facilities would satisfy the measure. … Nevertheless, partisan player that I am, I say vote Yes on J. It’s a start and Angela is a real cutie. I’m just as certain as everything that her enabling legislation will kick tall booty. Prop K - Transportation Sales Tax I’m voting No. … Out of jealousy mostly. The Mayor talked about meeting the person he picked to head up the Trans-Bay Terminal project at one of those early Saturday morning 10 minute meetings he held with the public … talked about it in his final ‘State of the City’ address the other day. … It hit me he was talking about Maria Ayardi, the City’s loveliest blossom. … Ahhhh, beautiful woman … multi-billion dollar project made mostly of glass? … ? … Naw, we don’t need a new Trans-Bay Terminal and we certainly don’t need a subway to Chinatown (how about a runway for 747’s next, huh Rose?) … Yes on the tax, but we have another 4 years to choose the projects we dedicate the money to … these two massive projects are indefensibe pork barrel. Vote No on K. Prop L - Minimum Wage Yes. … No item most distinguishes Matt Gonzalez from Gavin Newsom than this one. When he first saw Matt’s proposed raise of the local minimum wage from $6.75 to $8.50 an hour, Newsom immediately went to Chair Bevan Dufty’s City Services Committee and together they paraded a knuckle-dragging Kathleen Harrington, et al to preach about the danger of over-paying the peasants. For 3 solid hours, they insulted Matt Gonzalez. … Then, they scheduled a follow-up session of insults and went to read the polls. … Oh my, oh my! … 80% of those polled in the Newsom sponsored polls loved Matt’s idea. … Suddenly, so did Newsom. … But, they’d already scheduled the follow up committee hearing to smear Gonzo. … It had to happen. … And, it did. … Dufty immediately moved to table the item (bury it with the radioactive stuff in Nevada) … but, they had to hear public comment first and the couple of speakers who came forward weren’t aware their General had changed sides. … Anyway, … Gavin Newsom and I strongly urge you to vote for Prop L. … Side note: When Gavin first opposed this proposition, he said he had 700 employees and the measure would cost him $71,000 a year. That works out to an increase for only 15 people out of his work force of 700 people. … Yeah, Gavin wants to make the poor, poorer (see Care-Not and Panhandling) … wants to make it tougher to live at the bottom of our economic ladder bad, not just for the unemployed … but, also for those receiving the very minimum. … What a prick. Prop M - Aggressive Solicitation Ban Like Alioto’s Prop J, this one is sucker bait designed for an emotional appeal. Unlike Alioto’s initiative, which aims to inspire us to aid the downtrodden, this one appeals to the electorate’s baser instincts. … Hey, everyone agrees … these assholes who block traffic and otherwise gross us out need their sails trimmed. However, there is already a statute on the books that covers this. The cops (whom Gavin doesn’t think need reformed) … they don’t enforce the thing. … Sadly, this is another of my ideas that got out of the lab through one of my drunken columns and was digested, then regurgitated to Newsom by an unscrupulous political consultant who realized that Gavin can’t read and was thus, unlikely to realize the whole thing was intended as satire. I’m surprised he didn’t go to the voters with my idea for having Park and Wreck (thanks, Warren) … for having a ‘San Francisco Safari’ division to sell hunting licenses for drive-by hunts of the poor and insane (with a modest taxidermy service) … Prop N - Permit Holder Disability No. … Taxi medallions are more valuable than Packer season tickets. … Lots more valuable … The numbers are simple … 4,200 drivers are employees of the 800 drivers who have medallions. The present law holds that if they put their names on a list, after 20 years or so, you can go from being an employee, to being an employer who only works part-time … you can go from being one of the 4,200 to being one of the 800. … Don’t get me started on this or I’ll get Libertarian on you. This is the nastiest industry in town and I recommend employment therein only to masochists and poets (there’s a difference?) … More or less Y’all see Willie’s performance the other day? “Don’t write my legacy.” … he says that to the local press. He says this on the day after Greg Fortner, his head of the Housing Authority went before a Board committee to propose privatizing the remainder of San Francisco public housing. … How, you might ask, does this seal Willie’s legacy? … Well, Willie’s policy of selling out to white developers drove 20% of the black population out of San Francisco during his first 6 years in office. This was done mainly by closing public housing projects for reconstruction; promising a return to the evicted tenants, then welching on the deal (less than 10% ever return) … now, he wants to close out his time in office by handing over the housing for tens of thousands more black citizens to the likes of John Stewart and Oz Erickson. … Yeah, I got your legacy here Willie. … You’re an Uncle Tom and a Race Traitor. I thought it was appropriate that you threw yourself sobbing, into the arms of society matron, Charlotte Schultz at the end of your speech. … It was weird. Almost like you were saying: “There, I sold out my people and now you have to take care of me!” … Get your little red waiter’s jacket ready, Willie. Toss a clean, folded white towel over your forearm and grab a tray. That was all you ever were to downtown and all you’ll ever be. … I’ll try to get this online someway now. I’m typing on one of those little lap tops (“Keep hitting ‘save’ cause it crashes a lot”) … putting the word down and will try to get it out. I haven’t had lots of luck with that lately. … It’s a cool Halloween night and supposed to rain. … Fires have ravaged 2,000 homes in Southern California. … More tax cuts are proposed for the rich. … I search for a new home for me and my 2 Russian blues. …Life, as they say … she goes on. Complain to: