Watching City Hall #219“It’s a sad day
for San Francisco journalism …
when you’re the only one
around with any … mother fucking integrity.”
(Eileen Left)
h.: “I don’t have any integrity.”
Eileen: “Compared to these pricks, you’re St. Francis of Assisi.”
h.: (I’d awakened to find Eileen, butt in the air above my sleeping head, reading articles she’s clipped from the morning Examiner and Chronicle.)
“What brings this sudden praise?”
Eileen: “The Chronicle and Examiner both ran full-page paid political endorsements for Warren Hellman’s bunker/garage in the park within a couple of pages of their respective editorials singing the praises of the God Damned rip-off.”
h.: (Shaking head and going for leftover bourbon in a glass next to my head – had to pick out a couple of gnats and one flea) … “So, how does this relate directly to my not getting laid in the last 3 years?”
Eileen: (Scanning articles and high-lighting key passages as she speaks) “Don’t you see what they’re doing? … They spend 15 or 20 grand today buying off the two dailies with big ads and a massive call for their supporters to tie up the phones of every supervisor before the vote on their project. … The overall project undoubtedly contains a clause in which they can issue 20 million or so in bonds to make up the short-fall in the price they promised to build the garage for. … Then, they administer the bonds through Park and Rec in case the new mayor isn’t a blueblood and they accomplish their goals even before the election.”
h.: (Lighting half joint from ashtray.) “Their goal being complete control of the park from air space to subterranean?”
Eileen: “They’ll own every parking space in the park for anywhere from 20 to 50 years. Let’s see how it plays in front of the Board. I was down at the Williedome picking up agendas earlier today and Chris Cunnie and the entire Warren Hellman gang of flunkies were trooping out of Aaron Peskin’s office. The man is simply too overwhelmed by titles and money. Watch for him to provide leadership for the Hellman group.”
h.: (yawning and adding remaining bourbon into a half cup of day-old cold coffee) … “So, we lose a little more of the park. I think we should concentrate on the mayor’s race.”
Eileen: “There’s a bigger issue at stake here, numb nuts! … If the press literally sells their editorial opinion in exchange for advertising, you know what we have here?”
h.: (swishes the ‘Irish’ coffee & relights the nub of a joint) … “Honesty?”
Eileen: “Yeah. … They should write, right under the editorial: ‘See paid political advertisement on page’ … let’s see … the Chronicle separated the ad and the editorial endorsement by 3 pages … the Examiner separated them by 5 pages. … It’s outrageous!” … (She’s wearing her usual running gear – tight, satin shorts that reveal more than most anatomy books, and a halter top that must be refrigerated, considering her taut nipples & she is dripping the most appealing sheen of sweat as she … you get the idea – the lady is ‘worked up’, shall we say. … I poured straight black coffee to reach my desired balance – Eileen continued …) “The Chronicle fired their last chief for admitting he tried to horse-trade positive editorial coverage in exchange for an agreement to not oppose the Hearst buy-out of the paper. … They’re still doing it!”
h.: (Lighting a roach and typing more of … this column) … “Listen, … tell me something I don’t know. The rich always get more for their money. … Hell, they’ve outspent us 40 to 1 and we’ve beaten them. The Newsom big money people are easy marks for every crooked political consultant in town. … Christ, he holds a summit or plants a tree every day. The man barely had time to see his wife off when she left him and moved to New York! What else is in the paper today?”
Eileen: “My friend at the Balboa swears Jack Davis ordered Kimberley to get out of town, so’s Gavin could pretend he was single and reclaim some of the cute young thing vote Matt took from him. I doubt that, but it is suspicious. … Yeah, also that turd, Ken Garcia wrote a column yesterday proving he’s the laziest hacker in town. The guy has less substance than a loud fart. He hits Matt for pushing all of the programs that will make San Francisco secure and independent in energy (tidal power – a great idea, but anti-PG&E) … knocks the public’s decision to make the supes full time … Garcia is lazy and that’s the biggest sin of all. He didn’t watch Gonzo’s hearings on tidal energy before Lafco … that would have taken hours and hours. … “
h.: (rubbing chin and considering showering and shaving) … “That’s good news, Eileen. … Warren Hellman and Getty and the crew really think that people like Garcia and Warren Hinckle are respected writers. When these guys attack Matt, it’s a solid reverse endorsement. … I mean, (starting to dig into a large cup of yogurt) … I mean, they’re attacking him mostly so far, for being good looking and having new ideas. … I can live with that. These people don’t write anything until the check is in someone’s bank account. When hired guns like that concentrate on our boy instead of Angela or Tom, they’re telling us they fear him the most.”
Eileen: “But, Angela and Tom are still attacking Matt too!”
h.: “Them, … them, we need to leave alone.”
Eileen: (shakes her head slowly, then nods) “Yeah, you’re right. … (thinks for a second) … It’s RARE, but you’re right on that one.”
h.: “So, the race is going well. (grabs towel and heads for shower as Eileen begins her morning exercises) … What else should I write about today?”
Eileen: “Well, you’re pretty much on the bricks. … That should be enough material for any number of columns.”
On the bricks
It’s true that my days of having a legal mailing address are growing short. A monster, gentrification realtor bought the place I’ve been crashing most of the time and I’ve spent the past couple of weeks putting unfinished novels in a shed in Sonoma (thanks, Daniel & Becky) & depositing little backpacks and the like of changes of clothes and soap and toothbrushes in corners of friends’ homes all over the City. You’d be surprised what you can live without in a pinch. … Worst, is the cats.
Worst is the cats. … I was down to one stray cat (‘Sister’) and she’s only now ready for adoption. She was starved and dying when we found her and it’s taken over a year to get her back together. I put her with my friend Ania til I can place her with one of you all. … Anyway, I was offline for over a week while my computer sat in a corner and I went around securing ‘safe houses’ for the remainder of the campaign. Now, for better or worse, I’m back. … You’ll like my new space.
“Ignore the man behind the curtain!”
Betsey Culp and I stashed my computer in a corner in the rear of Gonzalez’s campaign headquarters on Saturday. Then, I hit a reunion of a gang of pure San Franciscans I met at the Kenmore Residence Club over 20 years ago and headed to the ‘country’ for 2 days of football on the tube. … Today, (Tuesday) I met Eileen Left (hard to believe, but she’s also a pure, self-taught computer wonk) … met Eileen and came down to Haight street to hook up my cyber-beast for the duration of the campaign. Eileen immediately found a small alcove complete with curtains that would just fit one more cyber-position. … Eileen had the whole thing up and running within the hour, then … bought us both lunch at ‘Coco’s’ just East of Fillmore on Haight. (anyone want half a veggie burrito to die for?) … Sooo, the ‘alcove’ is perfect. Eileen kept laughing about the tiny space, all painted in royal purple and covered with two heavy velvet drapes of the same color. … “You’re like the ‘Wizard of Oz!” she kept exclaiming and giggling. … “Either that, or some attraction in a carnival.”
The home stretch
The race for mayor of San Francisco comes down to one simple fact. … That is, that the Mayor controls 99% of the City budget. … The Board of Supes controls less than 1%. … If you want to have things remain the same … if you’re happy with the way things are … elect Newsom. … If you look at his supporters, they’re all the same people who supported Willie Brown. … Damn! … Willie sat right behind Gavin when Gavin announced his candidacy. … Want gridlock at the Board? … The only person in town with a worse relationship with the Board than Willie Brown is Gavin Newsom. …
That’s enuff
Access old columns at www.sfbulldog.com (type it wrong and you get an outstanding porn site, I’m told) … The Board is back from vacation and I’m out of intensive care from the gentrification ward. We have just over 50 days to gather our forces for the December runoff. … The evening is approaching the Horse Shoe Café’ on Lower Haight where Matt’s troops do the campaign thing morning til night. Splendid people, all. If you want to have some fun and save the San Francisco that attracted you at the same time, … kick on by and join the fray. You could do worse … and, probably are. … One word of advice … ignore the man behind the curtain.
Say, huh?:
