Watching City Hall #207, AUGUST 18,2003“Reality is not only stranger than you imagine …
it is stranger than you are ABLE to imagine.”
(Einstein – about SF politics no doubt)
I had a beer with Angela Alioto Saturday (she drank coffee) … after watching Matt Gonzalez open his campaign headquarters where I sat in on a lefty strategy session. I don’t recall (no pun intended) all that the candidates said as I was pretty high on some new pot called ‘Orange Crush’ that is making the rounds. … That, and I kept a flask of cheap bourbon close at hand at all times. … Let me tell you what I remember. It’s probably not all true, but reporters and politicians are all liars anyway, so you go ahead and sort out what suits your particular bigotry, embrace it and … pass it on to your friends.
“We’ve got 4,000 phone calls going out daily.”
(Angela Alioto)
Unfortunately, they’re all going to the same guy and boy is he pissed. I sent acting beat reporter, Eileen Left out to interview him.
Eileen: “So, how many calls have you actually gotten from Angela?”
‘Jake’: “Well, I personally answered over 15,000 and the wife and kids say she phoned another 12 or 13,000 times while I was at work.”
Eileen: “Wow! … I’d say she’s really serious about winning. But, do you think this ‘carpet-calling’ is really a good idea?”
‘Jake’: “Well, it lets you get to know the candidate and I appreciate that, but I kind of wish they were in English and I have had a few complaints.”
Eileen: “Who from?”
‘Jake’: “Mostly my bill collectors. … They’re a closely knit group and they hate it when they can’t get through to me. … My student loan officer was recently installed as Western Region Chair for all of the other agents who handle my accounts … and …”
Eileen: “Yeah, yeah … we get the idea.”
Elsewhere on the campaign trail
While Angela lets her fingers do the walking, the other candidates and their supporters were not idle. Gavin Newsom is flying a planeload of society folks to Paris to entertain the French people by performing delicate surgery in an attempt to reanimate Ken Garcia’s brain. After Gaul, Gavin goes gallivanting gregariously grinding grapes for ga ga groupies. … Or, something like that. Point is, Gavin will not cease searching the best hotels on earth for the answers to San Francisco’s problems. While continuing his grueling international schedule, the ‘Noose’ will occasionally drop into our ‘Bagdhad’ to recuse himself from votes at the Board and refuse to debate the other mayoral candidates. But, mostly, he will continue to fly around the world personally investigating how other towns handle contentious problems. … Eileen was able to ‘borrow’ Gavin’s itinerary from the brief case of a member of his team whom she met in a massage parlor (Fazio was there too, but who cares). Here are a few highlights:
August 20th to 25th: Amsterdam – studying the effects of legal dope and prostitution on rich people.
August 26th to September 1st: Monte Carlo – studying the effects of legalized gambling, dope and prostitution on rich people.
September 2nd to September 15th: Bangkok (no pun intended) – studying the effects of the slave trade, legalized gambling, dope and prostitution on rich people.
I’d say Gavin knows what’s important to his people. Warren Hellman knows a few things about how to win an election too. Y’all know Warren? He’s the Wells Fargo guy. Big, big money. Funding SFSOS while trying to get you to pay for his garage in Golden Gate Park. … It appears that old Warren, he made another move or two with his buddies to undercut the Matt Gonzalez campaign.
Gonzo out … Kimberly in
While the big boys at Comcast were busy canceling Board President Matt Gonzalez’s monthly tv show, the folks at Wells Fargo thought it was an excellent time to fund a weekly show for Gavin’s wife, Kimberly. … While it is not known if Mrs. Newsom will be modeling her Victoria’s Secret line … … it couldn’t hurt.
“@#! My *&^!!”
(Tom Ammiano addresses Green Party)
Now, I missed this one but I understand it was a doozie. In an attempt to change his image, big (so, he says) Tom, screamed and ranted obscenities at a Green Party crowd that included women and children. “In some parts of Texas, he could get 10 years for what he said.” noted Eileen Left. “I loved it and kids gotta learn those words sometime.” … But, lets leave Tom out of it (as more and more people are doing). Let’s speak about those playful Greens.
Insanity defense?
I’m told by people on the inside that Ammiano’s raves and mechanizations might actually work in obtaining the Green Party endorsement. … This one is no joke, folks. … I was invited to a brainless trust strategy session in which key Green operatives first applauded Matt, then … when he left … told the small group that he was not guaranteed their endorsement. “We’re a party of rules and structure” one said (lying in her teeth) “Jerry Threet might be able to swing enough abstentions to produce a ‘no endorsement’ result and that will just be that.” I commented demurely to Calvin Welch who was sitting next to me under a dripping water pipe: “Can you believe this shit!?”
Thing is, lots of the people in the room weren’t Greens. But, the Greens took over the meeting and actually tried to shut me up! “So, you want to be the only voice in the campaign while not endorsing the candidate!?” I called back to them. It was surreal, even for a basement enclave amidst crumbling walls. … Let me say this about that.
Matt Gonzalez is beyond a doubt, the best candidate for mayor of San Francisco. He’s an eggheaded, hard working, self-effacing and generous politician (traits shared by few in the trade) … If the Greens don’t endorse him, he should dump them. When Winston Churchill changed parties for the third time, someone questioned his resolve. Churchill took a pull from his huge cigar, blew smoke out over the reporters and intoned: “To be perfect … is to have changed many times.” … Now, I like the Greens. But, I’m fairly convinced that a goodly number of them think there’s something sexy about being marginalized losers. Being driven out of this gang might be a blessing. I mean, consider this scenario … Schwartzenegger becomes Governor, beating Bustamante by, say … 4% of the votes. … The Greens get, say … 5%. … Then, Alioto and Ammiano scream that the Greens turned both the nation and the state over to the Republicans. I don’t know if I’d want to be a local Green Party candidate running under that rain of poo poo. … Speaking of poo.
Phobes and isms bald-faced lies
It is not unusual for an unscrupulous black politician to play the ‘race card’. … You may be an asshole. You may be a thief. But, … if you’re black, you can always claim that people don’t like you because of your race.
The same thing is true in the gay political community. There are lots of heterophobes in positions of power in the Ammiano campaign. Lately, they’ve taken to calling Matt Gonzalez and his supporters homophobic. … It’s a lie, of course. At least half of Gonzo’s core people are gay. … Soooo, you ask … why spread something so obviously false? … Well, they’re ripping a page out of the Brown book (that would be Willie & Amos Brown) … playing to the baser instincts of your core constituency. … It ain’t gonna work. Just as most white and black people aren’t racists, most and gay and straight people (in this town, anyway) are not phobics. All Tom is doing is further tarnishing his image.
Stockholm/Log Cabin Syndrome
Another oddity that seems to be taking shape is an Ammiano/Alioto appeal to Democratic voters to avoid Gonzalez because he’s Green. … Tom and Angela calling for solidarity with the Democratic machine is pathetic. No two politicians in this state have been more maligned and back-stabbed by the Democratic Machine then Alioto and Ammiano. Bizarre. Like announcing you’re a Gay Republican or a Jewish Nazi. … Kind of spinning their wheels on that one. … The list goes on.
Phantom polls & the real deal
A high source in the Alioto campaign supposedly told leaders in the neighborhoods that Gonzalez wouldn’t run for mayor because a poll he took showed his numbers weren’t strong enough. Further, they claimed to have gotten this information from … ME!! The Examiner even picked it up and it ran as a tidbit in Adriel Hampton’s ‘Body Politic’. … There was no poll. It was merely an attempt to keep Matt out of the race through a campaign of disinformation. … Then, District 3 supe Aaron Peskin actually did commission a poll. The results were devastating to both Alioto and Ammiano. The only candidates who could catch Newsom were: John Burton, Carole Migden and … Matt Gonzalez. The Ammiano/Alioto reaction? They preferred to believe the results of the poll that didn’t exist and ignore reality. Kind of sounds like my love life.
Womanizer?
Repeat after me … Matt Gonzalez is an egghead. Yep, uh huh. … Now, that’s the truth. Anyone who knows him at all, knows he ain’t no chaser of skirts. So, why try and paint him as such? Search me. … You’d think the source of this particular bit would realize that San Franciscans like their politicians on the edgy side. Hell, Willie’s philandering adultery has probably saved his ass in many an election. Personally, I love to watch da Mayor, who is 10 years my senior, walking the walk with a young fox on each arm. I can’t even get together with old foxes. A reporter from the SF Weekly has been phoning lots of Matt’s crowd as she puts together a piece on him. That’s well and good, but it seems she is concentrating on trying to dredge up something on his love life. … That’s probably her editor’s idea. … Hey, sex sells. Even lies about sex, sell. But, this womanizing thing is a lie. It’s like the phantom poll in which Alioto and Ammiano find comfort.
Something nice
I adore Angela Alioto. … I was raised by a houseful of powerful women and they don’t scare me in the least. I particularly like to see them in their natural habitat. After watching the Greens run into poles in the basement Saturday, I grabbed a bus and went to meet with Angela.
“Her daddy, AND her brother both got me out of jail!”
I was lingering around the crowded corner outside the Café Trieste awaiting the Alioto girl’s arrival when I noticed a beaten up pickup truck across the street with a huge ‘Hallinan for D.A.’ sign in the back window. The bed of the truck was filled with the things musical you’d associate with a mobile jazz band, which these guys drinking and smoking doobie around the tailgate were. I headed right over.
“So, you’re h. brown!” said the vehicle’s proprietor. … I couldn’t believe he knew me. “I know the ‘General’.” the gnarly old black man explained. … Now, that would be Jens Nielsen, who’s my best friend and closest adviser (and, also works the door at a pot club) … Anyway, we talked dope and politics and when Angela arrived, she came across the street (everyone knows Angela – all heads turned and followed her). I told her she should do joint (no pun) appearances with Terence Hallinan to combine their appeal to native San Franciscans. … It was a gorgeous sunny Saturday afternoon and the tourists were out en masse.
Memory of a lifetime
I figured I’d be lucky to get a half hour talking to Angela. It turned into 2 hours of roaming North Beach with its reigning Queen. We found a parking space across from the Savoy Tivoli and ducked in.
Now, the Savoy is one of my favorite places on earth. … It was deserted, yet wide open. … Every door and shutter opened to join the café with the sidewalk and street beyond. … We wandered through the vintage schlock Deco interior with the brilliantly gleaming waxed floors that creaked beneath our feet. The place has several bars and we finally found the sole employee on duty behind the second. She ordered her coffee and I went for a pint of Anchor Steam (when drinking with a legend – sip another). … We moved to a table closest to the sidewalk and sat in the shade looking out onto a sun-bedazzled Grant street. We traded rumors and disinformation. Here I was, broke, homeless, loveless and jobless … but, … sitting in the heart of the City’s most historic neighborhood with its most beautiful living Icon. … Now, I’ve been from Istanbul to Anchorage over my 59 years. From Paris to New York to L.A.. … The memory of this campaign and the afternoon with Angela tops them all. Now, I like Matt best for mayor. But, that Alioto girl … she’s a close second.
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