|Watching City Hall #201, JULY 25, 2003
What do Barry Bonds and Alex Fagan Jr. have in common?
Theyre both better hitters than their fathers.
(Thanks & a pound of round to Eileen Left)
Can you believe how far the cops will go to get by with crime? Unbelievable. Even a little crime like fag-bashing.
Geez, after so many decades of attacking San Francisco gays, youd think the Irish high command could come up with a better excuse than: My dad is the Chief of Police and hes Gavin Newsoms best friend and
I mean, like, really
We can do better than that. Lets really get out on a limb here and fulfill our obligation as being one of the small core of San Francisco Bohemian types remaining and make the whole column into a fantasy (regrettably, the basic facts are true)
Eileen Left mentioned last evening (as she pulled the heavy gauge black fish-net nylons on she taunts me)
Eileen said that shed actually been in Alex Fagan Jr.s class at the police academy. Really?, I queried, knowing better than to doubt anything she says. Tell me more. I said. (using the standard line of a reporter who hasnt prepared for an interview)
Eileen: Yeah, you know he was just named Rookie-of-the-year, in Absentia?
h.: Get out of here!
I mean, we all knew his dad was a chief and had been Gavin Newsoms de facto personal bodyguard since Newsom was a kid, but that didnt matter.
I mean, if you arent a real bad-ass, no one will vote for you.
So, what made him such a bad ass?
Eileen: Well, he had a bad attitude, of course.
Thats real important on the street, but, I mean, hey
lots of cops have a bad attitude.
What set Alex Jr. apart was that he backed it up.
h.: Howd he do that?
Eileen: Seventeen claims of police brutality in one year!?
While on fucking probation, for Gods sake!!
Do you know how hard it is for some probie to beat the shit out of that many people and keep his job?
h.: But, justice prevailed.
Hes no longer a cop.
Eileen: For someone older than Moses, youre dumber than a bent nail.
Hes just off temporarily.
They left the back door wide open for him.
Shit, soon as Getty buys Newsoms way into the Mayors office, theyre free to bring Alex back!
h.: As someone who has always believed in their government and particularly trusted that thin blue line that stands between us and commie chaos, I cannot listen to this blasphemy!
Eileen: (laughing, as she took out her jewel-studded whip and did practice slashes across the already-decimated wax mannequin of Matt Gonzalez in the corner)
Let me give you a little indicator to check.
Look for the Police Officers Association to pay thousands to your brother journalists under the table for favorable press on the cops and more slander of Hallinan.
h.: You demon, witch! That could never happen.
Why, we have the most devoted reporters in the world!
I could never, not in my wildest fantasy imagine someone like Warren Hinckle taking a dime from the cops!
Eileen: Listen wimp (she noted, as she put on her Nazi Field Marshals hat and turned for the door)
Theres a new graduation class from the Police Academy down at the Getty mansion and Im the main attraction. (She turned for the door)
h.: Arent you afraid of retribution!?
Eileen: (laughing loudly as she cracked her whip and blew out a huge cloud of Northern Lights dope her favorite)
Are you kidding? Im just a figment of your imagination!
Youre the one who better watch his ass. (she quickly pealed back a falsie to reveal a rouged nipple, winked & headed for Gordons)
h.: Point taken!
Which way back to reality?
Have I gone mad, or is it just you?
This morning, the Examiner referred to Arnold Schwarzenegger as: the Governator
Ya gotta love that. As Willie Brown and Gray Davis walked by me the other day after a press conference, I called out: Hey Willie!
you want some jelly with that toast?
Only got a dirty look in return.
Still, Im backing my buddy Gray here.
Yeah, I know that sounds lame for a lefty who doesnt even carry ID, but Im voting No on the Recall.
Not that I like Davis.
I wouldnt let that slime ball baby-sit my fleas.
But, as a big paper editorial noted:
Absent major misconduct by Davis, there is no reason why
1.4 million signatures, gathered mostly through $1.5 million
in financing by Republican U.S. Rep. Darrell Issa, should be
able to potentially overturn the legal election of the governor
of this state of about 35 million people. It is just bad governance,
and its not what was intended when the recall provision was
built into state law.
recall Willie Brown?
Sorry, that particular turd is already at the other end of the political digestive tract (for the second time!).
However, like Instant Runoff Voting (or Ranked Choice Voting as the local press has more appropriately renamed it)
this Governor Recall thing will actually give the entire state a first taste of what Ranked Choice Voting will look like.
Take my own delusional self.
In Ranked Choice voting, I can vote for up to 3 people for Mayor.
In the Governor Recall, I can effectively, vote for 2.
Yup, I can vote AGAINST the Republicans, by voting against the Recall
I can vote FOR some other candidate on the other side of the ballot.
And, incidentally, I want to thank the Democrats for not running another candidate over there. I cannot think of any Democrat in the state who is better than Gray Davis, and that is a truly damming statement.
Im guessing the Governator will be a shoo-in
shit, for a six pack of beer and a joint of Northern Lights, I just might check the boys box myself (no pun intended).
You tired of this? Im babysitting Frank Gallaghers wonderful hounds over the weekend and you can reach me there since he has brought the civilization of dsl into his very comfortable and very private Berkeley hovel. I hope to write more often as we approach these coming elections.
I know youre all dumb as dishwater and desperately need me.