Watching City Hall #200, JULY 25,2003 “If you got em … smoke em!” (John Wayne) OK, folks … today’s piece will be return fire upon the campaign of one, Buzz Fazio. It will not be pretty, as was not, yesterday’s attack on District Attorney, Terence Hallinan by this same, Buzz Fazio individual. … Soooo, send the kids, the weak-hearted and any members of the mob out of the room. … OK? … We’re waiting … “War is Hell!” (Sherman) “Are you talking to me!?” (Robert Deniro) Hiding behind suffering victims or rape, murder, mental disability, homelessness, homophobia and plain old racism, ‘rogue cop’ defender, Buzz Fazio opened his campaign for District Attorney by diving right into the cesspool and accusing 2 term incumbent, Terence Hallinan of being somehow responsible for all of the above. Examiner pundit, Adriel Hampton’s morning report, while informative left out some of the other actual elements exigent in this campaign which weave together into yet another “Perfect Country & Western song”. He left out Fazio’s ties to the mob and how he’s accused of tipping off an old mafiosa buddy who was free on the same street where he’d been accused of murdering a good citizen. … He didn’t say anything about how the cops bought Deputy District Attorney Fazio’s excuse that he was doing “a personal interview for a case” when the vice cops caught him in a Tenderloin massage parlor at 3am (he’s a married man … maybe Willie didn’t set the bar too high after all) … didn’t mention that … Didn’t mention that Fazio was fresh off helping cover-up for a cop accused of 77 acts of police brutality, who was accused of leading the cover-up for a rookie cop accused 17 cases of police brutality in his first year on the job … and, the second cop’s father is the present Acting Chief of Police. … I mean, do we have a live soap opera here or like … whaaat ? ? ? I mean, shit, you gotta admire the guy’s chutzpah. With a resume’ like that, you’d think he’d be applying to be a Mafiosa don. If was chilly on a foggy Frisco’ morning It was not quite 6am and I’d done the trash, chased off a prowler, made a pot of coffee and was settling down with the morning papers, a half a piece of stale pizza and some leftover flat beer and red wine that Eileen Left and I couldn’t finish the previous evening. I’d seen her off in a drizzle sometime after midnight and held her tightly in my arms as we waited for her bus (she has her own monthly pass – a ‘transit first’ kind of bombshell) It was a platonic cuddle only possible when you’ve become a sexual non-entity (“You’re too old for me” Eileen once said … “In fact, you’re too old for ANYBODY!”) … I was reading about Fazio and watching some interesting pictures of the mutilated bodies of the sons of the evil Dictator, Sadam Hussein in Technicolor on TV when Eileen hit the door once & entered without waiting for an answer. She often stopped by after her morning run. … Sweat soaked … in her shamefully tight briefs, her short auburn hair wild and damp from the fog. Sweat trickling from her brow on down to the nape of her neck and dripping like an angel’s tears to disappear into the dark ravine of her cleavage, the entire package so taut over the strained & yearning mounds beneath her silken tank top that so clearly revealed her rigid nipples … only to reappear (the sweat, that is) … to reappear as moist droplets … tear-like rivulets of salty moistness that made her inner thighs shine. … (I’ve been studying Danielle Steele) Shameful disclaimer time Several readers (get a life folks, move on … get some help) … several loyal readers wrote to say that my friend Eileen was a liar … or, a slut … or, like, … could they have her number? … Now, let me say this … about that. … Get a life folks, move on … get some help? … There is no ‘Eileen Left’ … she is the sleazy product of my disgustingly perverted mind. She is Everywoman. She is Everyman. … She is the lithe, spokesperson for ideas and accusations and radical politics. She is my ‘deepthroat’ (only, better looking than Linda Lovelace) … Anyway, it’s always been my imagination that sets me apart from other City Hall reporters. … OK, some might call it my … ‘lies’. … Anyway, there’s lots of sex around City Hall and just because I’m not getting any of it, doesn’t mean I can’t fake it. … So, no more complaints about Eileen, people. Got it? Eileen is here only because sex sells even if it is just fantasy sex. “Now, I don’t EXIST!!??” Eileen didn’t take well to my scoop on her non-identity. She leaned over me from behind and rested her tits on my head as I hammered away on the keyboard. She stroked Buddy Brown, my big black cat who was draped over the top of the computer and read more of the text. … “If anyone actually ever read your stuff, you probably wouldn’t last very long. … Oh look, Gavin Newsom’s on TV!” … Chair Bevan Dufty’s City Services Committee was just coming on and Vice Chair Fiona Ma is joined by Committee Member, Newsom. … Soon, they were deeply into prostitution and sex slave trade as relates to the seamier elements of the massage and body care business in our ‘Bagdhad by the Bay’. … You can’t make this stuff up folks. Hell, most of it really happened. … As best I recall … by that time I’d cleaned out an old pipe and was smoking the tar from the ATF (‘Alaskan Thunder Fuck’) weed we’d smoked the previous evening & I was puffing away. … I believe that a really serious reporter is not afraid to use what they call in the trade: ‘performance enhancing drugs’. … Of course, you people wouldn’t know anything about such stuff. “It just kind of rubs me the wrong way.” (Chair Dufty reacts to massage legislation) Eileen did some of those spread-eagle exercises in the floor while a couple of police captains explained why they needed more power, so’s they could be more efficient in rousting the whores in the massage parlors. … I kind of found myself wondering what Buzz Fazio would think of their tampering with his playground. If he’s D.A., he can rub them all the ‘right’ way. … Think folks. … Is San Francisco ready for a town run by gangsters and hookers and crooked cops? … Hell, it’d be a step up. … Back on point. Back on point, one of the cops was saying that they wouldn’t have even known about the legislation if someone from Supervisor Chris Daly’s staff hadn’t dropped a dime last night and told the cops what was coming down today. … Lax laws enabling San Francisco to lead the world per capita in whorehouses of all variety? … Hookers in the Barbary Coast!? … Who would have imagined such a thing? … Geeez, according the testimony, it wasn’t just limited to the massage parlors. … It seems there are whorehouses behind the curtains of foot and nail care salons. Drugs are available on every corner. … Ahhhh, it reminded me of why I came here in the first place. … Why lots of people came here in the first place, actually. … Let’s get real here. Getting real here What should really happen, is that Supervisor Bevan Dufty (whom I harangue constantly, but is actually a nice guy with personally, admirable values) … Dufty should join with his predecessor, Mark Leno and make a move to change state law so’s we can have legal, licensed and regulated prostitution in San Francisco. I spoke to Hallinan about this when he first ran for D.A. and he said he’d support a move to create state laws legalizing prostitution in the Barbary Coast. … I mean, face it folks, … that’s like legalizing sagebrush in Texas. They don’t call it ‘the oldest profession’ for nothing. … How did Bob Seger put it? … Oh yeah, it went something like this: “Here come the lawyer, the preacher and the cop. One thing for certain, it ain’t never gonna stop. Cause they got one thing in common … they got … The Fire Down Below.” While we’re at it, let’s toss in a new slogan for the Fazio campaign. My momma always taught me to say nice things about people and here’s the best, given Fazio’s actual history, of the way he should present himself to the public if he’s going to be honest: VOTE FOR FAZIO!!! At least The mob Is Organized Ciao, Angela: