My favorite ghost lives here. … With the chickens & Marley, out in the little pasture. … That would be Ben. He was my cat. … For a really long time. … Ever have a creature like that? … He’s been gone 3 years now, but like Bojangles and his dog (“after 20 years, he still grieved”) … like Bojangles, the thought of Ben still makes my eyes tear up. … Especially here, where he’s buried. … I mean, I won’t get far into this, but this was a cat who rode on the dashboard of my little Ford Ranger (given to me by the Cohens) … rode on the dashboard all the way from San Francisco to Homer, Alaska … entire length of the Alcan highway - 5 months - 100 campsites. Run away? … You’re kidding right? … Any other cat would have. … Don’t take your cat camping by the way! … Ben was more than special. … Anyway, Ben died at 17 or 18 (I was never sure of his birthday - I met him in South Carolina - he was a big yellow tabby tom - met him when he came rolling down the hill in back of my cabin wrestling with about a 30 lb bobcat) so, Ben is buried here. So is Dempsey. … Dempsey was Daniel & Becky & Eric & Aimee & Stephen’s dog. … Dempsey was a boxer. … There is no more loyal dog on earth than a boxer. I could tell you stories about boxers. … I won’t. … Mocha is my other companion here. … She’s a little tortoise calico. 13 years old now. … I remember when she fought her way into their back yard at the end of the cul de sac in Rohnert Park way back when. … She’s slower now and that kind of bothers me. … I seldom get up here more than twice a year now and the kids grow faster (Stephen used to stand next to me (cause I’m short … wanted to see which adult male he outgrew first - I’m always the shortest in class - this time, he doesn‘t even ask - it is obvious he‘s passed me by ) … Stephen is 13 and Aimee’ is 16 and driving! … Eric just finished his 3rd year at Cal Poly and is, like 6’3” and 209 lbs.. … I remember Eric’s first steps. … Dempsey, the boxer came into the Cohens life after they left San Francisco for Rohnert Park in anticipation of a family larger than just them & Eric, who was only around 3. … Dempsey lived her entire life cycle within the greater Cohen family generational cycle (ain’t pets amazing that way? - if you’re addicted to boxers - why not? - 10 is old for them, you could live through 8 or 10 boxers in your life) … now, it is Mocha approaching the end of her life and she sleeps with me each night I’m here. … She remembers 10 years ago when she was young and I was already 50 … & I came back from the east coast and my last broken marriage, I worked in the woods, substitute teaching with the gangster kids and painted their house and listened to the Gypsy Kings and scratched the bashful little Mocha’s belly while she rolled too and fro in the warm Sonoma sun. … That’s where I am. … I am well stocked.

A case of Becks. A case of red wine. Lotsa vodka. Nuts and fruit and steaks and coffee and breads. An ounce of fine weed. Young Stephen left me the latest Harry Potter and Alioto left a copy of her book, ’Straight to the Heart Political Cantos’ at Gonzo’s office. … I am not just reading Angela’s book. … I am studying it. … I came up here wanting to draft a leftist battle plan for the ongoing race for Mayor in San Francisco. … Right now, Angela is my favorite horse in the race. I’ve begun to lay out a battle plan for her push to the finish. I don’t care if she uses it. … It is only important if we do our best … what others do is beyond my control. … My best right now, is locking horns long distance with Jack Davis. … Like an old fashioned battleship duel, where vessels might never see one other … and the results of the impacts of the shells is only seen in retrospect. … … Huh? … Where the hell am I going with that metaphor? … Forgive me, it is a holiday. … I did bring someone with me though.

Eileen fills in

I’m an aging, horny human male. … It is normal that I should still be attracted to women. … Now, I’m not as randy as back in the day, but … I still flirt. The likelihood of me catching the kind of game I stalk is not good. Hey, what can I say? … I have a taste for caviar on a GA budget. … For instance, soon as I found I had this place with full provisions (there’s also a swimming poor, hot tub, motor home, tri-hull boat, bikes, a motorcycle, a truck and a jeep at my disposal … I wonder what the other poor people are doing this sunny holiday? … Soons I found out I had a few days alone in paradise, I invited Angela Alioto to join me. … Hey, always shoot for the top first, huh? … Maybe, when she went up to her place in Sonoma to water her roses and see her kids, she might stop for a cappucino. … I want to push my ‘Retro’ idea for her campaign. On the side, I’m still pushing my favorite politician, (and good friend) Matt Gonzalez to enter the race. I’ve told Tony Hall I’d endorse him (as, I will - along with the others) … including Aaron Peskin, who will instantly be the best debater in the race. … Hey, kids … you have to admit that any of those people would be one hell of a step up in the quality of human being sitting as Mayor of the City of San Francisco. Hell, if I had my way, the entire Board of Supervisors would be running for Mayor! … They really should. … Stick it to Willie. Screw this anointed successor - ’cause we got all the money for ads & control the Chronicle and Examiner etc. etc. - Willie’s anointed successor has spent the past 2 years attacking the new Board. … Oh yeah, he let it be known instantly that the way a supervisor should enter the Board was to be appointed by a crooked mayor (as was Gavin) … Anyway, it is the 4th and I’m listening to ’Raindrops keep falling on my head’ from the ’Forest Gump’ album and it takes me back to the Retro campaign I have planned for Alioto and … Daniel’s mom calls from France (Angiers) and we talk for 10 minutes - she has called to wish her son and daughter-in-law (Becky Schroeder-Cohen) a happy anniversary and her son a happy birthday. … Neat place to hang out. …

The Board vs. Newsom

Now, Gavin shouldn’t take this personally (because we understand he’s merely a front for downtown) but, he needs to understand that when you try and take money out of people’s pockets (he’s done that not only with the poor, but with the Board’s own salary too!) … if you try to keep the wages of the poorest paid frozen, while you take away 70% of the money from the poorest … shit, it’s obvious Newsom is running against the Board and the poor and low income (which, ironically, includes the artists, poets, dancers, musicians and writers who made this City the world’s #1 destination) … he’s running against them and it is only sensible that they should defend themselves by running right back at him. … Hell, it’s a matter of survival. … So, Supes!! Take that first paycheck with the (well - earned) increase from we, the voters and enter the Mayor’s race!

I try to make it so

Matt Gonzalez is in no hurry. Last week, during a break from the Gay Pride festivities surrounding City Hall, I sat on the plush carpet of his office floor with him (chairs filled, he gave up his & settled with several of us reclined against the wall around his desk) … About a dozen or two revelers from the hundreds of thousands below Matt’s balcony made it up to his office. It’s a heady feeling to walk out on a City Hall balcony and see a wall of people looking up at you. (I felt like the pope) … Some of the crowd looked like Mardi Gras in New Orleans. Some looked like … well, you get the idea. We drank wine and tequila and I importuned (once again) my favored politician to run for Mayor. … I know he doesn’t care. I know he doesn’t need it. … That’s my whole point. … We need HIM … to protect us from the likes of Newsom. … I mean, like … shit! … they’ve already driven at least a hundred thousand of us out of town over the past decade. … What did that Rock band say: “Maybe I’m crazy, expecting you to fight” … Get up off the mat, Matt. Defend us, like you always have … otherwise, they’ll throw us all out of town.

Peskin could run and win too. … He could. … Certainly, the more supes who enter the race, the better Ammiano’s chance of becoming Mayor. It is a truly fascinating exercise. … Particularly if (and, I doubt this very much) … if IRV (ranked choice) voting occurs, Leal could win (as Samson Wong pointed out in a well done piece) … point is … point is (are you paying attention?) … point is … Newsom as Mayor means automatic gridlock during tough economic times. … Oh, if he wins, they’ll (downtown) … they’ll try to break the gridlock by doing recall votes on most of the Board. … They will too. … Soooo, guys like Gonzalez and Hall and Peskin who are sitting on the fence now, should not come crying to me when Mayor Newsom supports the recall efforts (funded by all the cash needed - raised by Gordan ‘my other wife is a Volvo’ Getty) … don’t bitch to me: “Oh, h., you were right. Please save my sorry ass.” … Nope, forget that shit. … And, by the way … if you all enter, … I’m guessing the next Mayor will be … … … a woman.

But, it will be a Mayor who can work with the Board and that is vital. These are tough times, folks. The people have affirmed their belief in district representation twice since the turn of the millenium. Newsom and his downtown Masters refuse to acknowledge the will of the people. They continue to bash the Board of Supervisors while attempting to strip the poor of their few pennies. Run, Board, run! We elected you to lead us. Don’t hide behind us. If you do, once the Getty juggernaut rolls over us … you’re next!

Time to Party

When I couldn’t get anyone else to accompany me, I dialed up Eileen Left because I knew she wouldn’t say ’no’. The word just simply isn’t in her vocabulary. … And, she’s an absolutely stunning piece of arm candy. … She knows even more about local politics than anyone in the City because she’s slept with about half of the elected officials of both sexes (and, isn’t afraid to tell you about it) … I’m sitting in the shade of the big canvas umbrella on the deck, overlooking the pool, with a panoramic view of the perfect golden mounds of the Sonoma Mountains before me. I am sipping fine wine and thinking about America on this day when we, as Americans, first decided to stand and to fight … when another perfect set of mounds appears … Eileen comes out in a yellow polka dot bikini tied with a loose bow at the back … she winks at me as she pulls the bow & lets the strapless top fall to the deck (the birds stopped chirping and the lesbian boxer fainted) … her breasts don’t’ sag, but, instead … leap out and up. … She reclines and her chest mirrors the sun drenched hills that frame her body. … Ahhh, it could be worse.

Dream away: