Watching City Hall #191, JUNE 26, 2003 “Watch out where the huskies go… and, don’t you eat that yellow snow.” (Good advice from Frank Zappa) “One guy got his ordination off the … back of a match book.” (Deputy City Atty. discusses fortune tellers) “The smirking Newsom strode off like a petulant child.” (Eileen Left) Gypsy fortune tellers. Politico pissing contests. A whiskey war. An elections director who doesn’t vote. Ahhhhh, summertime in San Francisco! It’s been some week. … Now, personally I think the most telling moment came Wednesday night after 13 hours of Budget Committee deliberations when the Board’s chamber lights all went out like a ‘last call’ announcement at a cheap redneck bar. I figured either the gypsies put a curse on the place or PG&E was just reminding them of who was really in charge. … Either way, let’s sort out a few of these burning issues. John Arntz does not even vote I’m told by an inside source who did the research (verifying items before I print them goes against everything I hold dear) … Source says Elections Director Arntz didn’t even bother to register to vote until he applied for the top position last year. A check of records going back to 2000 show Arntz failed to vote in all 5 elections held since then. … Now, is it me, or is that … well, is that strange? … I mean, he didn’t vote for President or for Governor. He failed to vote for or against anything. And now? … Now he’s in charge of voting! … Go figure. You done figuring? On the matter of Newsom’s attitude toward the Board of Supervisors, I’d like to weigh in with a few comments. … Now, you know me and I’m not one to cause trouble. … However, don’t you think we’ve had enough of a mayor who, like … totally hates the Board? … I mean, on the stump, every other candidate for mayor talks about the importance of getting along with the Board. … Not Newsom. He spends his time trying to take away their money and even completely eliminate their districts. He hates them … and they pretty much hate him right back. And, while that’s been the foundation of most of my marriages, I truly hate to see City Hall stoop to my level. It’s such a pretty building. … You know … all those people getting married in their finest dress with the flowers and stuff … the guide leading the little bands of school kids around and showing them the busts of people who robbed us blind over a hundred years ago, right up to a description of a recent mayor who: “Lost his reelection bid because he got photographed naked in a shower with two disc jockeys.” (that one always gets the kids looking at each other) … Yeah, we don’t need any Little Lord Faunteroy off alone in the corner of the school yard with his faithful little poodle, Bevan. Naw, here’s who should be mayor … Matt Gonzalez for mayor I like Matt’s style. He’s reasonable and even tempered. He doesn’t own a car or a house or a decent suit or tie. … He’s been to jail (apparently, a judge or two tried to break the young Deputy Public Defender) … Our new Board President can’t seem to hold on to a girlfriend even though he’s kind to children and small animals (I’ve even seen him pat Newsom’s little mutt, Bevan on the back) … And, as Warren Hinckle once noted: “Matt plays well with others.” … Really though. Really though, Gonzalez can win. He has all of the ingredients needed to become mayor of this town. … First, several thousand very talented people love him without reserve. That one fact alone will quickly push him to the head of the pack. His campaign will have the best art. It will be full of music and poetry. … I mean, have you seen the guy’s TV show? A lot of people who don’t know Matt, were surprised when he used his free monthly show (channel #23) as a venue for artists instead of as a soapbox for his political views. … He works like a galley slave. People will work for him for free. … He’s patient, thoughtful, brilliant, independent … he plays the bass guitar and doesn’t rattle under pressure. … He knows the law and the criminal mind (that will come in handy dealing with Willie’s remaining troops) … Think about it Matt. Fire Department turns up heat I used to be a firefighter, you know. … Oh, it was almost 30 years ago in a place far, far from here but, … I know something of fire science. … Like, who goes for the groceries and the videos and sometimes other things. We used to call them the ‘Chief’s buggy man’ or, … the ‘Chief’s driver’. They used to need them when they actually drove a buggy. … Course, there are no horses to tie up and tend now. Soooo, mostly the chief’s drivers are gofers. Useless as tits on a boar hog. The San Francisco Fire Department has almost 50 of them. When the Budget Analyst realized the positions couldn’t be justified, (their average time on actual fire scenes was 1 minute and 48 seconds and they averaged 8 runs a year!) when the Analyst recommended putting 25 of them back on the trucks, … the department just changed their names. Yep, the department doesn’t have drivers for the chiefs any more. Now they have … ‘Incident Support Specialists’. I was hoping one of the supes would ask Chief Travino what the average time the ‘Specialists’ spent shopping for groceries and videos each year. Yep, uh huh, that’s what I was thinking all right. While I’m on the subject There’s been talk of closing some fire houses and consolidating others. This is not necessarily a bad thing. You can actually get better coverage in an occasional repositioning of forces. While the uninformed might rail of impending disaster, fact is that (like chiefs’ drivers) station locations come from another era. Only two things really matter. … First, response time. Second, equipment and personnel available. To keep a top rating, you have to be on the scene with the first flashing red light, I think (it used to be) … like, 3 minutes or less from the time the 911 dispatcher picks up you call. If you fudge these items, the insurance industry will downgrade your rating and Walter Shorenstein will have to pay higher premiums. … This isn’t going to happen. Other shady moves The mayor wants to give $70,000 to a collection agency to hassle people with overdue library books and ruin their credit if they can’t pay. … Now, me? I’d simply suspend their right to check out books and materials til they’re able to deliver. The Board, led by District #1 Supervisor, Jake McGoldrick agreed and shot down the idea in March of 2001. Willie figured he’d take one last run at this little contract while McGoldrick was resting his voice in Paris (Jake’s on vacation) … the Board Budget Committee (led by Chair Chris Daly) said ‘No’, but I’m afraid they may have left the side door open. … System head, Susan Hildreth while again pushing her favorite national collection agency threw in the possibility that the City Tax Collector might do the collections, albeit at a higher cost. Now, that perked up Daly and Committee Vice Chair Peskin’s ears like they just heard the cork pop on a bottle of champagne. Hmmmm. Who does the Tax Collector work for? Wouldn’t that be the Treasurer? Haven’t Daly and Peskin already endorsed Treasurer Susan Leal in her run for mayor? … I smell empire building on the backs of the poor. They’re the ones who lose the most books and materials. … No collection agency, kids. Just cut off their borrowing privileges. Beast of bourbon My old buddy, Jens says he won’t talk to me until I stop drinking bourbon. I’m working on it. It does sometimes make me even more obnoxious than usual. Does champagne make you aggressive? When mom dies My most sincere condolences to 10th District Supervisor, Sophie Maxwell and to fellow journalist, Carol Harvey who both lost their mothers. My own mom died (89 years!) early last month and I’m only now ready to write anything about it. … Let me tell you about mom’s funeral. Like Sophie’s mom, Enola, my mom loved Jesus, church … and a fancy hat to wear to church. My sisters brought all of mom’s hats to church for the funeral and they sat them all over the back of the church along with the flowers. There were dozens. … Which is lucky, cause each of her female offspring and their female offspring, et all … got to take a hat to wear for the service, then to take home. … There were baskets of personal items and everyone got to talk. My niece, Cindy Daly chose a battered old flashlight and came forward to remember mom taking her down the winding path to the outhouse when she was a little girl. … Then, … (sorry, thinking about it makes me cry) … … She left me her bible. … It’s getting crowded in Heaven. Peace & love: