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June 9, 2009¡YO SOY CONANDO!¿QUIÉN SON USTED?AFTER ALL THE SELF-DISCIPLINEI exercised to eliminate the bulk of TV viewing from my life, I find myself helpless in the face of Conan O’Brien’s Tonight Show debut. I’d already given up Stephen Colbert at that hour, but I just can’t resist a midnight-snack helping of the C-man. I’ve always said, “You gotta love Dave [Letterman],” but I’ve gotta love Conan more. I HAD THE GREAT PLEASUREof attending one of Conan’s San Francisco Late Night show tapings at the Orpheum Theatre on Market Street, where the pigeons love to roost, featuring my favorite singer-songwriter, Tom Waits. (Close second, Leonard Cohen—second because he, like Waits, is wise, but not nearly silly enough.) It was during that show that Tom exhibited a fireplace shovel bearing a likeness of the devil. CONAN AND TOM WAITSwith a devil on a shovel is my idea of high-grade entertainment. Tom provided the bizarre soundtrack to my Portland 30’s, and once upon a time I was playing a tape of “Frank’s Wild Years” at my job at the front desk of an architectural firm, when a client walked up just as Tom was referring to Frank’s wife as a “spent piece of used jet trash.” I don’t think the client was paying that strict attention, but I like to think he was. I CONGRATULATE CONANfor staying true to himself and not reinventing himself for a new audience. The Year 3000 bit (updated from the Year 2000 bit) with Andy Richter was a good sign that they’d stay silly as ever. (An oldie but goodie: “In the year 2000, actress Angela Lansbury will undergo hip replacement surgery. The procedure will go smoothly.”) CANOEINGdown the LA River, running from New York to LA only to discover he left his studio keys on the windowsill of his old apartment, hijacking the Universal Tour tram to run it in circles, this all strikes me as a great use of a magna cum laude Harvard University BA in American Lit and History. CONAN USED TO HAVEa feature invoking kids who teased him about his name, with “Hey Conan the Barbarian–where’s your wooden club?” and the like. People would write in with other “arian” rhymes. Here are some of my own: “Hey Conan the electric-chairian, where’s your reprieve from the Governor?” “Hey Conan the E equals mc-squarian, where’s your theory of relativity?” “Hey Conan the carrion, where’s your circling vultures?” “Hey Conan the antiquarian, where’s your Victorian piss pot?” “Hey Conan the Aryan, where’s your master race?” “Hey Conan the contrarian, where’s your debate team?” “Hey Conan the Fred Astairian, where’s Ginger?” “Hey Conan the librarian, where’s your Madam Marion?” “Hey Conan the despairian, where’s your Sartre reader?” “Hey Conan the breatharian, where’s your fresh airian?” “Hey Conan the vegetarian, where’s your butternut squash?” “Hey Conan the ovarian, where’s your GYN?” “Hey Conan the totalitarian, where’s your Hitler mustache?” “Hey Conan the millionairian, where’s my bail-out money?” “Hey Conan the questionairian, where’s your question mark?” “Hey Conan you teddy bearian, where’s your plush tail?” “Hey Conan the Renassiance Fairian, where’s your jousting lance?” [Disclaimer: Author is not exactly sure if she made all of these up or may be remembering a couple from the original show. She’s not going to research it. –Ed.] ALL RIGHT, THAT’S ENOUGH.I’d like to hear yours, though, because people in the challenging 21st century are too serious, not nearly silly enough, which may seem inappropriate in these times, but to me silliness is a saving grace. It involves not taking yourself too seriously, and showing faith that things will lighten up. PERHAPS BECAUSEone of my strengths as a writer is nonsense verse, I appreciate silly humor more than any other. I am so happy Conan realized his dream of hosting the most famous late night show of all time, because he is one of those who just plain make me happy, and I’m grateful. CONAN, ME LAD,I wish ye lucky stars above ye, sunshine on yere way, many friends to love ye, joy in work and play–laughter to outweigh each care, in yere heart a song, and gladness waiting everywhere, all yere whole life long!
A silly picture of the author paying tribute at the Fyvush Finkle flagstone at the Brooklyn Botanic Garden Walk of Fame. Photo by Jon Crow. ------------------------------------------------------------ Remember
Yo soy tonto. ¿Y usted? copyright Alexandra Jones 2009 |
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