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May 28, 2009The sex is back(Adam Lambert Style)IT’S WHAT YOU WANTED, ISN’T IT?The Ax Files (ax is short for Alexandra), this here column you’re reading, started out pretty sexy, back in 2005, with a post called Dicks and Pricks, all about–you guessed it, dicks, pricks and sticks. The second, Oto-rhino-wha?, discussed various literary takes on sex, and h brown, who invited me to write the column on this website, www.sfbulldog.com, started calling me his “sex columnist.” The third one, You Don’t Want Someone to Love!, was an old love letter. Then in the next I admitted that I’d used sex themes in my writing samples to get h’s attention so he’d give me the column space. And then I veered off into other topics for three or four columns, but when, in SAN FRANCISCO!?, I told the story of my fabulous fling my first week in the City, I used the paragraph header: THE SEX IS BACK.And so it is in the original post of the “Adam = sex blog,” as someone called it, and it is the final and only complete version. I’m returning it “in all its OTT glory” to its space not due to popular demand, but because I’ve seen a number of preliminary and truncated versions copied onto various sites. It’s Out There, and retracting it would be like putting toothpaste back in the tube, as a reader described it, so you might as well get it from the source. Its raw emotions rang a bell with, well, the chief Idol demographic–women above 35, who felt I was “speaking for them”–although one gal put out a “crazy frau alert” and called me a “nutjob.” My fifteen minutes of Internet fame. I have all the complaints and reservations I had about the post when I deleted all the offending bits, installing a PARDON OUR DUST alert in their place, but I’m Pulling Myself Over will have to serve as my apologia. I regret slathering another layer of significance on Adam. First he’s a gender bender, then he’s a cultural touchstone, a sociological phenomenon; now he’s sex itself. He doesn’t actually walk down the street radiating sex. Poor guy. He just wants to sing. I AM COMPLETELY UNINTERESTED IN SPORTSThey might as well not exist. Consequently I hear only “blah blah blah” when any sports-related news makes it way through to me. Others live completely ignorant of the opera world, or the political world, or the horticultural world. And then there are those who could care less about American Idol and wish never to hear anything about it again, many of my readers among them. Not to worry. I will soon be back from the Outer Limits to return control of your television set.
Oh, great. Now it’s back to the cats. ------------------------------------------------------------ You threw a harpoon
Sex is back? Where has it been? copyright Alexandra Jones 2009 |
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