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May 8, 2009Kicked it!Not the bucket, the InternetHOW ALEXANDRA GOT HER GROOVE BACKI was hooked, I admit it, but I’m over it now. That sleek silver sliver of a MacBook can sit there for hours blinking its sleepy eye at me. I’m not going to pick it up. I need my lap for my cats, who no longer have to jockey for position with the keyboard. Between my laptop being in the shop for a week, and a long weekend in Seattle and Portland, I got used to not having wireless Internet access, and find it no longer draws me in. I don’t need to “check in” more than a couple, few times a day, nor even every day. AND TV?During the presidential campaigning and election, I became addicted to MSNBC as well. But as my ex the Silver Fox puts it, I’ve spent enough time in front of that box. Mostly it’s a noisy diversion. I don’t need Chris Matthews and Keith Olbermann and Rachel Maddow all yapping the same news stories at me one after the other, nor the scathingly clever but nonessential Stewart/Colbert double-header. I’m not giving them four hours of my week anymore. Sure there are quality productions on TV, but what about your own quality productions? How much more would you produce if you cut TV out of your life? I don’t necessarily mean “This is what I achieved today,” but just living your own life, not standing by while you watch others speak and interact and sing and report the news and act in dramas and comedies based on “real life.” Your life would be you-based; not something coming to you from outside of you. I SAW A CARTOONwhere one kid is talking to another about a third kid, about his violin lessons, his good grades, his travels, his Boy Scout badges, his prowess on the ball field. “I know,” said the other kid, “it’s a bummer his family doesn’t have a television.” I’ve been a film buff since college, but much of my TV and movie watching has been an easy tactic for the exhausted avoidance of my own life. How I loved to sink into the couch and spend two hours living someone else’s life, relieved of my own burden of history and personality. THE MAGIC BULLETI never had any intention of discussing my bipolar disorder in this column, but spilled my beans a couple years back in “I’m Outing Myself,” because I pass for normal and wanted whoever needs to know that many of us struggle to maintain equilibrium and that help is available. I’m in the pro-drug camp. I wanted to share that Strattera helped me calm down and not feel constantly overwhelmed by seemingly insurmountable tasks—like getting out of bed, taking a shower, being organized, making it through the day. All these drugs I’m on, though, do not cure one of depression and ADD; they only manage them. Life is less of a nightmare now but it’s still a struggle, mostly with constant exhaustion. But lately, as Joseph Heller put it, something happened. THE MAGIC BULLET, REDUXWe’ve all heard that moderate quantities of red wine can be good for us. But you’d have to drink 1,000 bottles a day to ingest the quantity of the property found in the skins of red wine grapes, resveratrol, that you can now purchase in pill form. I chanced upon a healthcare website that had done consumer comparisons of various brands of this over-the-counter food supplement, and the No. 1 pick, resV Pure, offered a free sample. I was curious, having seen resveratrol discussed on 60 Minutes, and thought I’d check it out. WHAT HAPPENEDrevolutionized my life. I’ve always wondered, how can some people be professionals, parents, activists, community leaders, and still find time to have interests and remodel their kitchens, because I have never had enough energy to make it effectively through the day. I would get a fitful night’s sleep, wake up exhausted, and pretty much stay that way for much of the day. If I ran an errand, grocery shopping, for instance, I would start to wind down, drag myself home and up the stairs, and need to lie down. I’d take one or two naps a day and still fall asleep when I read. I yawned constantly, and was relieved when I had nothing scheduled all day so I would not need to summon enough energy to get myself somewhere. Life was simply too much for me. ALL THAT’S CHANGED.My antidepressants dull the sharp edges of life, but Resveratrol helps me to live my life. My energy and focus are twice what they were. I now understand how some people are able to achieve several things in one day, or one life—they’re awake all day. I never knew what it felt like. I take 40 mg of resV Pure in the morning and feel great all day long. Everyone’s chemistry is different, so I can’t claim that prescription drugs or any particular supplement will work for anyone else—consult your doctor first. But for me those purple pills are nothing short of a miracle. The other day I was wide awake at 6:30 am, moved four bookcases of books into the hallway, laid a new rug and moved it all back, by 9:00. I was still able to take two cats to the vet (two trips on the bus), clean the apartment for my house sitter, shop for and make him a pot of chicken soup, pack for my trip, post my column, and wake up at 4:00 am for my 7:00 flight on two hours sleep. SO unlike me! Maybe you’ve had days like that, but for me they are revolutionary. I can actually read now, entire books. I can get things done, and in a timely fashion. But the most drastic change is that life now seems doable, livable. I can use the entire day now. Internet and TV are of no interest. All the projects I’ve shuttled into the closet can, in the fullness of time, be conquered. The pressure’s off. There are no deadlines. I have a box of fortune cookie fortunes I got at a yard sale. I picked one at random the other day while moving my books. It said, “You should be able to undertake any project and complete it.” I believe it. Wow. The full May Flower moon (or the Corn Planting Moon or the Milk Moon) peers in my window, while a foghorn sounds in the night. It’s a good omen.
Cupcake Jones at the Red Dress Party, Portland ------------------------------------------------------------ I'm a Delilah
I swear to God, Dr. S., check it out copyright Alexandra Jones 2009 |
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