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August 19, 2007Pour faire ou ne pas faire l’amour?Cela est la question.LOVE STUFFalways sounds better in French, n’est-ce pas? Or Italian? Per fare o non fare l’amore? Spanish? ¿Para hacer o no hacer el amor? Portuguese? Fazer ou não fazer amor? Or perhaps Dutch: Te doen of liefde niet te doen? Swedish: Till gör eller inte till gör älska? Norwegian: Til å gjøre eller ikke til å gjøre kjærlighet? Icelandic: Til gera eða ekki til gera ást? Czech: Až k bu a nebo rozcházet se v názorech init Amor? Hungarian: -hoz csinál vagy nem -hoz csinál szerelem? Tagalog: sa gumawa o hindi sa gumawa ibigin? Polish: Wobec czynić albo nie wobec czynić miłość? Croation: Za napraviti ili ne za napraviti hatar? Greek to me: Αγαπά ή όχι αγαπά? Russian: Сделать или не делать любовь? A ROMANCE LANGUAGEis of course preferred, but German has a nice rhythm: Zu machen oder Liebe nicht zu machen? Of course it sounds like you’re clearing your throat. Many of these translations also mean “To make or not to make love.” But that’s a whole ‘nother ball of wax. Just remember, the love you take, is equal to the love you make. So I say, Machen Sie es! TO DO OR NOT TO DO LOVE?That is the question in question. Whether ’tis nobler in the heart to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous Love, or all hope abandon ye who enter there. THE POWER AND THE POSSIBILITYA long-married friend, who does believe in Santa Claus but not the Easter Bunny, wrote to say she found the cynicism of my reader who no longer “does” Love, “somewhat disturbing… Hope a lot of people don’t feel that way… I have sympathy for your reader that does not believe in love… The possibility and power is always there. He won’t be able to see it.” EXCEPT THATthat reader apparently, after all, does do Love. After I quoted him in my last column, he wrote again to confess, THE WAY IT WORKS“I too am so full of shit…because at the first sign of interest from any reasonably attractive woman, ALL of those tenets would be out the window SOOO fast…and once again I’d be offering up my heart on a silver platter… complete with carving knife! I really don’t expect it to happen again, at this point. In retrospect, and in my currently healed up state, I don’t regret having suffered so much in the clutches of Love…I risked a lot, I was given a lot, I hurt a lot. I guess that’s the way it works.” Indeed. WHEN YOU LEAST EXPECT IT, YOU’RE ELECTEDHas anyone, beside the head cheerleader and the quarterback, ever expected to fall in love? No one plans to fall off a cliff either. Jump, perhaps, but not fall. Has anyone ever fallen in love by sheer will? It just happens, doesn’t it? Love is an accident, that’s why they call it falling. It’s a trip-and-slip hazard. And if it happens gradually over time, as with Walter and Kitty in “The Painted Veil,” with a friend, or in an arranged marriage, it’s still not like you planned it. There’s a mental/emotional shift, a seeing with new eyes. I’m not talkin’ the mature voice of experience, “I have grown to love you,” I’m talkin’ the primal “excruciating spasm of love,” as another reader put it. I’M STILL A BIG FAN OF LOVEwhatever its outcome in any given case, though for all my luck with it I should become a professional cardshark. As Sam Smith asks, “Why bother?” I ask “Why bother to love?” And answer, as did he, “Only to be alive.” HOPE I DIDN’T SOUNDdown on marriage last time. It’s an act of faith and courage. My married friend wrote, “I certainly don’t think marriage is for everyone, but I sure don’t see it as a controlling thing - its all about choice-choosing to be accepting, giving, and seeing the greater picture or ultimate goal - not be distracted by the small stuff or fleeting moments. It does take some time to get there.” I APPLAUD ANYONEwilling to take on this challenge in “this modern life.” It’s a miraculous wonderment that so many people can find someone they want to commit to. But I wonder how great a percentage of marriages are not sincere expressions of love and devotion, not genuine partnerships, but desperate grabs at security, companionship, family, status, money, or the premature result of infatuation or pregnancy, or indeed a power struggle between personalities. I grew up with one of those. IN THE GREATER SCHEMEof things, marriage has been used as a social contract to increase the power of the ruling class, or extend a royal dynasty, or further a business alliance, or strengthen an economic base. It’s one of the constructs established over time to approximate order among a great number of people. Among ordinary folk, some people think there is no other way to go but marriage and will do anything to get there, when other ways to live are limited only by one’s imagination and strength of character. How does any civilization cope with the needs and actions of 6.6 billion people? By breaking it down into units with systems and laws–countries, states, cities, communities, families. Conventions that bind people to each other and inspire loyalty and commitment. SOUDAIN JE SUIS MALADE D’AMOUR.Suddenly I am sick of love. I have without notice grown weary of the whole hullabaloo, so I will abruptly switch gears and share with you THE MOST RIDICULOUS “CONVERSATION” I’VE EVER HADafter ordering online from Telebrands, Inc. Jenny Says: Hi Alexandra, I’m Jenny. To thank you for your order, we’d like to send a FREE $25 Wal-Mart Gift Card. Jenny Says: Please type ‘HI’ or ‘HELLO’ in the space below to let me know you are there… Jenny Says: Whenever you are ready Alexandra, just type ‘HI’ or ‘HELLO’ and we can get started… Jenny Says: Just let me know you are there…Jenny Says: This will only take a few moments Jenny Says: Please type ‘HI’ or ‘HELLO’ in the space below… You: hi–I don’t patronize Walmart–thanks anyway! –Alexandra BUT WAIT THERE’S MORE!Jenny Says: As a special reward we’d like to send you a $25 Wal-Mart Gift Card for simply trying a 30-day trial membership from Value Plus for just $1.00 today. This family entertainment service provides up to $150 in discounts at leading stores and restaurants like Target, The Home Depot, Best Buy, Red Lobster, Olive Garden and many more. You: No thanks. - AJ BUT WAIT THERE’S MORE!Jenny Says: Plus, save up to $1000 in grocery coupons on your favorite brands. Jenny Says: Now, if you want to cancel, just call the toll free number in your welcome packet in the first 30 days, and you won’t be charged any fees after that. And with your OK today, we will charge only a $1.00 fee for the 30-day trial period of Value Plus in order to start your savings. You: Thank you, no. - AJ Jenny Says: If you decide not to cancel, after the 30 day trial, the service is automatically extended for just $16.95, charged about every 30 days as WC* Value Plus to the credit or debit card you provided today. Jenny Says: The free $25 Wal-Mart gift card is yours to keep just for trying the program, OK? You: I am declining this offer. - AJ Jenny Says: Just $1 for a 30-day trial of Value Plus and the $25 Wal-Mart Gift Card is yours to keep. It’s a great deal and our way of thanking you for your order today. You: I don’t want the Value Plus or the Walmart Card. - AJ Jenny Says: Now, keep in mind, the $25 Wal-Mart Gift Card is yours to keep just for trying the service for 30 days and you can cancel anytime by calling 1-800-475-1942. So, I can send the package to you as I’ve described, OK? Jenny Says: Would you like to try it for 30-days for only $1.00? and to claim your $25 Wal-Mart Gift Card. You: ABSOLUTELY NOT, YOU ARE NOT AUTHORIZED TO ENROLL ME – AJ BUT WAIT THERE’S MORE!Jenny Says: Value Plus benefits include discounts on movie tickets, dining, and hotel stays, savings on gift cards to popular entertainment retailers, 10% cash back on purchases from select online merchants, and a $600 Grocery Wallet to save on name brands at the supermarket. You: You’re probably an auto-response, but how many times do I have to say no before it takes? No, no, no, no, no. Will that do it? – AJ FINALLY, NO MOREJenny Says: Okay, no problem, I’ll note that you have declined the offer and you will NOT be enrolled. To end this chat, simply click on the ‘X’ on the upper right corner of this window. You: X! BUT WAIT…Have you tried the “sexy” Go Duster? It’s a battery-operated rotating duster that virtually does the dusting for you! Only $19.99. Would you like fries with that? CHRIS DALY FOR MAYOR?About a year ago Ken Garcia of the Examiner ran a column suggesting Chris Daly for mayor. I can’t find it in the Examiner archives but at the time I thought he was either cracked or having a bit of fun. Daly was seen as a loose cannon and probably always will be. At the time there was a feud going on between Daly and Pat Murphy of the Sentinel. I found the following snippet in my files: DATELINE: January 10, 2008Today, newly sworn-in Mayor Chris Daly interrupted a press conference to offer to slap Pat Murphy’s goddamn face for him. Mr. Murphy declined the opportunity.[I remember my shock at age 13 hearing William Buckley tell Gore Vidal on live TV at the 1968 Democratic National Convention, “I’ll slap your goddamn face for you.” Vidal was visibly stunned. I think that was also when Dan Rather almost got trampled. Some comedian said, “And now we take you back to Dan Rather on the floor. And there he was–on the floor.”] MAYOR CHRIS DALYThat’s gonna happen. When someone advertises their opinions under the gigantic legend “THE TRUTH” as does Ken Garcia in the Examiner (see also Pat Murphy posing with the TRUTH mural behind him), I tend to take those opinions with a pillar of salt. Mayor or not, I do want Daly to stick around if only for the entertainment value, or curiosity as to this week’s facial hair configuration. I’m always waiting for him to blow a gasket, but his comportment is more often civilized than not, though often with a petulant undertone. I just enjoy occasionally seeing someone other than myself lose it. AS OF 5:00 PM, FRIDAY, AUGUST 10TH, 2007the filing deadline for mayoral candidates, there is officially no “viable” competitor against Gavin Newsom. In the year since the Garcia column, Chris Daly has become quite the Progressive leader, but everyone was waiting to see if Gonzalez would run; Daly was going to run if no one else did; Mirkarimi decided not to run; Daly decided not to run; Matt Gonzalez might have run, but did some research and decided not to run; Daly thought he might run after all; Daly decided not to run. BULLY FOR YOU, CHRISI would have campaigned and voted for Daly. He is sincere, I like his priorities, and he is unafraid to say what he thinks no matter who he pisses off. But I’m glad he’s not running. A lot of people do not like the guy and even God Gonzalez couldn’t quite make it; it would have been a miracle if Daly had squeezed by Newsom to victory. How sweet it would have been, for him and for his supporters. He would have galvanized a lot of folks, true, but in the disappointing end he wouldn’t have won, even if he’d made a “Progressive showing,” and instead of spending a lot of money, time and effort on a losing battle, he gets to be there for his wife and new baby due this fall. If I were expecting a baby with someone I love, I wouldn’t want to be at a BART station shaking hands, or anywhere but home. He’s already got a tough, demanding job. Bon chance, mon ami. I say he made the right decision. “For what it’s worth,” I told Gonzalez, “which I realize is probably nothing,” that I really wished he’d run for D.A. Though questionable that he would have beat Newson this second time around, he would have demolished Kamala Harris without hardly trying. Now we’re stuck with both Newsom and Harris. KUDOS TO THE KANDIDATES’ KOLLABORATIVEChannel 5 called it yet another “Only in San Francisco” event. If so, so be it. If you’re too small change a mayoral candidate–a nudist, a cab driver, a florist, a sex club owner, a curmudgeonly bulldogger blogger (my own publisher and pal h brown) or even an activist or concerned citizen–to be invited by an “organization” to debate Mayor Newsom, who everyone sees as the shoo-in, then organize yourselves and take to the streets. Stage weekly debates between all comers across from City Hall. Invite the press and the public. Make some noise. Draw attention to yourselves. AS THE CITY’S PROGRESSIVE LEADERSwho stood any kind of chance of upsetting Newsom one by one asked themselves: Pour courir ou ne pas courir? and all one by one answered, “No I will not run,” one thing can be said of all the thirteen “also-ran” candidates–they ran. They are passionate and give a damn. They coughed up the $5K to file. They want to talk about what’s wrong with the city and promulgate ideas, solutions, suggestions. Get people thinking and talking. Maybe even vote for them. More power to ‘em. Why bother to run against Newsom? Once again, Sam Smith: Why bother? Only to be alive. Only to be real, to be made not just of what we acquire or do under instruction, but of what we think and do of our own free will. Only, Winston Churchill said, to fight while there is still a small chance so we don’t have to fight when there is none. Only to climb the rock face of risk and doubt in order to engage in the most extreme sport of all–that of being a free and conscious human. Free and conscious even in a society that seems determined to reduce our lives to a barren pair of mandatory functions: consumption and compliance.Sam Smith, Why Bother? c. 2001, Feral House, p.1. I told a reporter, tongue firmly ensconced in cheek, that I expected the debate to be a “laugh riot free-for-all” but that it was a good idea that will generate lots of discussion. Newsom’s political consultant Eric Jaye characterized, and trivialized, the gathering as “h. Brown’s Be-in.” If so, so be it. What better time for a San Francisco Be-in than the 40th anniversary of the summer of love? As candidate Grasshopper Alec Kaplan put it, “I want to restore the carnival atmosphere that used to be here. I don’t know why we can’t all be loving and happy.”http://sfbulldog.com/hBrown/2007/08/18/bulldog-2007-article-123/ OVERHEARD“I came here to get arrested.” “The crowd is starved for political debate.” “I’m just starved.” “It’s bad and it’ll get worse. Notice I didn’t say ‘before it gets better.’ It’ll just get worse.” “I am not a substantial candidate.” “I’m sorry I slandered you.” It’s 3:00 am. Pour écrire ou dormir? Dormir. Bonsoir, mes amis. In memory of Noll and Daniel’s sweetie, Wheatie. We miss your tip tap tipon the stairs. God bless your soul. ------------------------------------------------------------ Pour faire ou
copyright Alexandra Jones 2007 |
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