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February 2, 2007Got sex?Forget the milk. It’s sex we want!TONIGHT AT THE CASTROEddie Muller informed us that San Francisco can now claim official status as Noir City. “Thanks…to Mayor Gavin Newsom.” ROW A, SEAT 8I am sitting amongst the grey-haired, the white-haired, the blue-haired, the geezers and the wheezers, the retired and the tired. It is the 2:00 p.m. Thursday matinee at Davies Symphony Hall, February 1st. The trees are beginning to leaf, I note with a tinge of hope, where I wait on the mezzanine to hear Christian Tetzlaff’s rendering of the Brahms Violin Concerto. (Well done, lad, formidable.) I lean on the railing gazing out at City Hall, where our troubled mayor holds court, where he has just moments ago apologized to his friends, his family, his staff and the city of San Francisco for a “lapse in judgment” now under scrutiny by anyone and everyone worldwide. It’s not been a good week for the man. Of late he has seemed to be absent without leave, evasive and confrontational, like he’s on some kind of mental vacation or meltdown. THIS WEEK IN SCANDALThen earlier this week his press secretary Peter Ragone made a great big fool of himself posting with phony names on chatboards to talk the mayor up and his detractors down, got caught and lied about it, then admitted he lied—this man whose job it is to speak for the Mayor’s office—destroying his credibility either forever or until the public forgets and by forgetting forgives, whichever comes first (kind of like a certain President and a certain Gulf Coast city). Or until his shameless scandal gets supplanted by a more salacious one. In miracle timing for Ragone, the very next day his boss takes over the spotlight with a City Hall soap opera far more suited to capturing the public imagination, distracting from Ragone’s own unacceptable behavior. CUT THE ENTIRE HUMAN RACE A BREAK, PLEASENow Newsom’s picture is up on the screen with the caption “Sex Scandal.” A couple of years ago the man had an adulterous affair with a former staffer (Ruby Rippey-Tourk) married to a current staffer (campaign manager Alex Tourk), who resigned when he found out about it. People who aren’t having sex like to hear about people who are, especially some juicy variant kind. People who do not have good looks, wealth, celebrity, power, like to see those who do crash and burn. People are rubbing their hands together coast to coast. Aren’t we ever going to get tired of this “news”-making formula? Only the names and faces change. This sad story rated only 15 minutes of fame, if that. EVER’BODY’S TALKIN’ AT MEEverybody’s talking about the scandal—but it’s the wrong scandal. What’s scandalous to me is that Peter Ragone is making press announcements about Newsom’s scandal, not his own. If Ragone makes any announcement, it should be of his own resignation. It would no doubt be devastating to Newsom to lose two key people in his staff the same week, so perhaps he is too distracted to fire him. But I believe Newsom knew nothing about Ragone’s online activities. He’s too smart, savvy and classy to think such juvenilia would be a good idea or in aid of his campaign. Ragone has always struck me as a brat and bully. Did he post under false names? “Absolutely not! Absolutely not!” JOHN NELSON IS MY BEST FRIEND, AND HE’S NEVER HEARD OF PETER RAGONEOh I’m sorry, Ragone was talking about the other John Nelson, the nonexistent alter ego he fashioned to post plugs for his boss and retort to other posters, basically surreptitiously planting propaganda. THE MILK OF HUMAN CRUELTYWhy is Got Milk? perhaps the most influential ad campaign ever? It’s got nothing to do with sex, unless by the most elastic stretch of the perverse imagination “milk” is code for semen, or subliminally invokes breasts. And sex is what sells, what grabs our attention and doesn’t let go. We—especially those who don’t get enough of it—can’t get enough of it. AN IDEA WHOSE TIME HAS GONEBut I wish we as a society would abandon the idea of the sex scandal. Unless you’re out there preaching against the very sort of sex you’re having, unless it’s predatory, unless it’s forced on someone, the sex someone else is having is none of our business. Unless you’re having sex in public, it’s a private affair. Does being a Mayor mean Newsom is having sex in public? No, it’s none of our business. Does Newsom’s status as a public figure entitle us to judge his sexual decisions? No. They’re none of our business. A private decision made by two adults—that was between Newsom and Rippey-Tourk; none of our business. That a third party was betrayed—that’s between Newsom and Tourk, Tourk and his wife; none of our business. If Newsom felt he hurt the trust of people close to him, he made a painful public apology acknowledging this. He did not owe me as a citizen of this city anything. I wish I’d never even heard about it; it should have been his private regret. Now let’s leave the guy alone and let him get back to business. To suggest he should perhaps resign or has screwed his chances for higher office over this is beyond ridiculous. For me, the net effect of this episode adds layers and dimensions to Newsom I didn’t know he had. This man was once helpless in the grip of passion. That’s not good, bad, or indifferent—just human. Life happens. People form attachments. Needs converge. Someone, or everyone, gets hurt. THE CHALLENGE OF MARRIAGEis that it is hardly possible as human beings to not form attachments to people other than our partners. Perhaps that’s why marriage is statistically falling out of favor. Temptations are more likely than not. It’s just the way we’re wired. People interact and grow in meaning to one another. Needs change; people don’t necessarily evolve together. At some point your commitment is going to be tested and if you betray it, you are not evil; you are human. To me, as someone who has eschewed marriage, being in a relationship should not preclude either party from having a private life and private relationships that are irrelevant to the partner. Not necessarily sexual, just relationships that must be honored as being between two people, not three. Every relationship has a level of tolerance for such things—sometimes zero, sometimes flexible—but perhaps some relationships need to end, and need impetus to end. I once asked a friend if his boss had a girlfriend; he said “Yes—but don’t let that stop you. You’re the better choice.” (I was the better choice for one night, it turned out.) WE NOW RETURN YOU TO THE REAL SCANDALMy Washington Post online subscription just showed up at 1:45 a.m. and I’m pleased to see there is no mention of Newsom on their front page. A search for his name did turn up some AP and Reuters online links, but when I searched for Peter Ragone, his name was mentioned only in connection with the Newsom scandal. The New York Times checks in at 5:39 a.m. and does mention Ragone as a “public relations problem.” I know the timing’s bad, but this wily little guy cannot abuse the public trust and continue his pretense as the voice of the mayor. He’s got to step up to the plate and resign. That means now, little man. And Gavin, an early Happy Valentine’s Day. To me you will always be a fabulous, exotic bird of paradise. Would you like to see my room?
Mister, you are gorgeous!www.sfgov.org ------------------------------------------------------------ The flesh was willing
Board of Sups--please call for Ragone resignation copyright Alexandra Jones 2007 |
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